relationships, sexuality, Women

Does a Woman’s Breast Size Really Matter?

A woman’s relationship with her breasts is complicated.

Female breasts have been a source of fascination for eons. They are a sensual and enchanting part of the female form symbolizing life-giving and creative force qualities such as birth, nourishment and fertility. In our culture, breasts are also commonly associated with the femme fatale; seduction and femininity; comforting promises and sexual fulfilment – Women’s breasts are among men’s favorite sex toys.

Ancient cultures may have practiced Goddess worship and regarded the female form as the source of all life, but the “source of all life”, wonder and pleasure is not always what it’s cracked up to be – women the world over experience all kinds of issues with their breasts.  

The relationship between a woman and her breasts is rarely neutral, and it begins at the onset. As a teenager with brand-new budding breasts, it wasn’t long before I took to wearing oversized sweaters in an attempt to conceal and ignore them. I still considered myself a kid and frankly, I was comfortable staying that way. I didn’t ask for my chest to suddenly explode; I was no woman.

What did these firm, swollen mounds of flesh want with me? 

The thought of wearing a bra caused a volcano of mixed feelings – On one hand, I knew that I was on the threshold of the new and exciting world of womanhood, on the other, I wasn’t so sure that I was ready to grow up.

It also meant that I had to accept the inevitable – the not-so-thoughtful taunts of my younger brother who occasionally found twisted pleasure in yanking the back of my bra strap when he was frustrated with me. Humph – baby brothers can be a pain in the butt at times … but so can big sisters.

The truth is that women are just as obsessed with boobs as men. Psychology Today reports that only 30 percent of women feel satisfied with their naturally given gifts, observing that: “Younger and thinner women worried that their breasts were too small, while older and heavier women were concerned about droopiness.”

That’s 70 percent of women dissatisfied with their breasts. Thank goodness for the push-up bra and America’s number one cosmetic procedure: breast surgery.

Ahh, the breast-surgery Gods of America; here to fix, stitch, mend, and reposition nipples …    

It’s totally valid, especially when considering the media-driven imagery we are forced to swallow –  what woman doesn’t aspire toward the vision of a sun-kissed beach-babe-lifeguard whose inflated breasts bounce like perfection as she runs along a shoreline in search of … erm … a life and death rescue mission?


In her time, the famous blond sex symbol with the critically-acclaimed rack was no-doubt in part responsible for an upsurge in breast implants and igniting inadequacy in small breasted women the world over.

Which begs the question – do straight men really prefer bigger breasted women? Does boob size actually factor into our relationships?

Researchers have never actually explained why men devote so much headspace to breast fixation, speculating that “humans evolved the fatty deposits around the female mammary glands for sexual reasons.”

Anthropologist Owen Lovejoy argued that evolution put a bull’s-eye around both female and male reproductive organs in order to promote pair bonding, and Live Science says: “Another long-standing theory holds that breasts evolved as a way to signal to men that the woman attached to them was nutritionally advantaged and youthful — and thus, a promising mate.”

After I accepted the life sentence of bra-wearing and got comfortable with those strappy pieces of underwear, my budding breasts began pushing their way out of my chest like no tomorrow. Seriously, those girls just kept growing and growing … and growing. Until they became the source of much male ogling.

More uncomfortableness.

I can’t tell you how many times a man has had a conversation with my breasts when addressing me. No, they don’t talk back and my face is further north, thankyouverymuch. 

It’s a bit like Homer Simpson drooling over doughnuts. I’m not bragging. Quite the opposite. My breasts and I have had a life-long turbulent relationship – one which has seen me curse them and then finally grown to accept and love them.

But it’s not just me, women complain about men looking at their breasts when talking to them all the time. And just ask any waitress; she will tell you that wearing low-cut tops with a visible cleavage means better tips. Then there’s the age-old joke about a group of women with various degrees of qualifications applying for the same job. Who gets hired?

The woman with the largest breasts.

They may look nice, but having large breasts isn’t all perks and roses. The fact is, women with big boobs do have their struggles. I can certainly vouch for that.  

For one, do you realize how difficult it is to find a sexy piece of lingerie that comes in a larger cup size?

Extraordinarily hard. It’s like searching for a real-life leprechaun.

Ditto for feminine-looking bras. The pretty lacy ones are seldom made in Double D’s and upward. Nope. Not in the usual stores. Large breasted women commonly face a depressing and limited selection of bland granny-style bras, so we are forced to shop speciality if we want something sexy.

Don’t get me started on strapless bras … they’re a no-go.  

Clothes shopping can be an ordeal too – dresses fit wonderfully until you get to your breasts and they become a mashed-up version of flesh and nipples. Not. Attractive.  

Button-up tops are challenging. So are swimsuits.

Running is not our friend … no, really … we are not Pamela Anderson doppelgangers.

So, yeah – all women have their own personal relationship and battles with their breasts. It isn’t limited to those of us who have smaller boobs and wish for more than a handful.

Large breasts equal eternal trials challenges and inner-conflict, too: “My face is up here, dude.” … “No, I won’t show you my breasts in exchange for a drink – what the?”

True story. Jerk.    

Okay, we know that men like breasts. It’s a no-brainer. But do they actually find big boobs more alluring?

During our early days together, I’d frequently catch my husband sporting a goofy grin with my bra on his head. He had been utterly stoked that the cup could fit smugly over his skull. Go figure.

I am not a man; he is. I recently asked him the burning question. His dark eyes swept over my breasts and he smiled:

“Large breasts are lovely – yes. But so are all breasts – period. At the end of the day, it’s not the size of a woman’s breasts that men find alluring as much as the woman attached to them.” 

And there it is … small or large, breast size does not seem to play a pivotal role when it comes to relationships between men and women – not when love is involved. Unlike breasts, love cannot be faked.

Moreover, a woman’s breasts are intimately connected with the forces of the heart connection: linking her to love, compassion and wisdom – whatever shape or form.

What man in his right mind could deny such a precious, life-giving gift?   

*Originally published by Sexography on Medium