life, Love and Connection, mindset, relationships, Romance, sexuality

A Sensual Man is Like a Piece of Art

The creative expression of love

I’ll never forget the night when sharing a few drinks with mates at a friend’s place, a much older guy took me aside to let me know that if there was ever a time when I wanted to discover what it felt like to make love to a real man, all I’d have to do is say the word.

He followed up by painting a picture of the long and leisurely hours he would spend making me feel so good, that I would swear off boys forever. He was in his forties; I was about sixteen.


The move was unexpected. Some might even say it was inappropriate. Ha. That’s life, dear friend. People have a way of throwing us a seriously strange loop from time to time. Best get used to it.

Speaking of loops, it wasn’t as if I was putting out “flirty” come-hither-signals his way or anything.


Lord, no.

In fact, by sixteen, I had already adopted a guarded attitude around men in the way that I was very conscious of how males perceived me and of my actions.

FYI: That happens to a girl when she encounters more than her fair share of unwanted male attention, and probably the reason why women often become intolerant and jaded by “sleazy” left-field pick-up lines and unexpected propositions from total strangers.

And yeah, these kind of pick-up artistry tactics were around way before neggingcat theory and strawberry fields became a thing. Like a prehistoric disposition ingrained in human behavior.

Best get used to that, too.

Anyhow, dealing with such an explicit offer from a much older man wasn’t on my “how-to” list of things to handle. It went a bit like this:

Panic. Button.

Help arrived with the appearance of a girlfriend, who happened to interrupt just as he was describing the way he wanted to flick his tongue against my lips. And I don’t mean the ones connected to my mouth.

The strangest thing about it was that once I recovered from the unexpected moment, I couldn’t help but ponder his very scandalous and very sexy offer.

He was right in that the quality of sex coming my way was, by all means primal and immature. Mostly, my carnal knowledge thus far had consisted of horny, rough finger play sessions, teeth where they shouldn’t be and cringe-worthy sucking. All of which preceded a main course of … erm … hard and fast shagging. It was a far cry from the exquisitely-put cunnilingus he had so artfully described.

Sensuality wasn’t a part of my world.

As you can imagine, the only sensual, slow burning passion that had made it anywhere near my all-you-can-eat, long and leisurely sex table arrived within private sexual fantasies and the occasional raunchy flick like Sea of Love.

Ah, Pacino…

I’m uncertain if it’s just that I’m a sucker for the dark, brooding sexy type, or if that Pacino’s killer screen presence totally blinded me — but damn, that man is like the pinnacle of sensuality in my book.

You saw the way he looked at Penelope Ann Miller in Carlito’s Way, right?

Mmm …. where was I?

The truth was that back then I didn’t yet know the touch of a man who really knew how to seduce, pleasure and handle a woman.

AKA: a sensual man.

Yeah, I may have been young and shy — perhaps even a little timid, and I was nowhere near the sexually-actualized woman that I am today, but I knew enough to know a sensual, sexually confident man when I saw one — even if I didn’t how to be the lover he had envisioned me to be.

Thankfully, things are different now.

The years have given me experience enough to know the kind of lover I want and need in my life. I am now a woman who knows how to handle a man in and out of the bedroom, and I understand my body in an intimate way. Which means that I can express exactly what I want in the bedroom to my significant other.

In other words, I’ve grown confident in expressing my sexuality in my relationships.

Pamela Madsen from HuffPost:

“A sexually confident woman is someone who actively pursues erotic and sensual pleasures. She’s not dependant on her partner for the expression of her sexuality, she enjoys touching her own body, and she’s not afraid to explore the world of sexual fantasy.”

Now, that sounds like a woman who celebrates her femininity and is fully expressed in her sexuality. It also sounds like the place where every woman should aspire to be.

Naturally, this type of woman is going to require a man who can hold his own beside her. Someone who understands who he is and what he wants out of life, and who is, like her, in touch with his sexual power and sensuality.

With that in mind, let’s get onto framing that art detailing what a sensual man looks like.

He has…

Artwork Like Creativity

There are no “ifs” or “buts” about it — creativity is just straight-up sexy and an extremely sensual quality for a man to possess.

Right? A creative man is driven by passion and deep desire, and tends to allow his heart and soul to lead the way over pure logic. He has a colorful flare for life with the ability to tap into and connect with his spirit and imagination.

When a creative man brings those qualities into focus on the woman he loves, his love is then charged with passion — pure, sensual magic.

From Noteable Life:

“One thing all artists and creative souls have in common is an insatiable passion — and a desire to express that passion. They tend to put their entire heart and soul into the task at hand — whether we’re creating a painting, writing the lyrics to a song, or in bed with friends, lovers, and significant others.”

A sensual man has artwork like creativity because creativity, imagination and passion are the fire crucible elements of deep love.

Artwork Like Sexual Confidence

Sexual confidence in a man is like a love-channel toward sexual expression and power.

It’s a distinct and intoxicating quality in a man which smells like all of life-force energy, sexual spirit and deep fusion. When a woman gets a whiff of a sexually confident man, she knows he will have no problem handling her most sensual desires.

Another thing to consider about sexual confidence is that our energies do speak volumes way before we even utter a word to someone. It’s like a personal vibration.

Take the example from the story I mentioned earlier. I knew exactly what was on that older man’s mind and that he could deliver in the bedroom just by being around him — he oozed sexual confidence.

A sexually confident man lets a woman know that he is amazing in bed and that he is open to sexual exploration — and honestly, it is a deliciously positive energy that will impact her beyond anything he could ever say out loud.

A sensual man has artwork like sexual confidence because he understands that deep sex with the woman he loves is pure energy healing in its most sacred form.

Artwork Like Eyes

Of all our facial features, our eyes are the most revealing.

Oh, sweet, sensual soul!

When a man knows how to hold his woman with his stare, he actually conveys deeper meaning through his eyes which lets her know that he holds space for and is fully present with her.

It’s like the secret, intimate and intense look he saves just for her, and it is as sensual as hell. A woman can’t ever get enough of such a look from the man she loves.

More about the eyes from Every Day Health:

“When compared with an attractive face, voice, or body odor, a large, dilated pupil is associated with the most attractiveness in both sexes. That’s because when people are aroused, that black circle in the middle of the eye enlarges. Both men and women find this arousal sign attractive, even if only subconsciously.”

A sensual man has artwork like eyes because he knows to “see” his woman is to acknowledge, know, love and connect with her in full presence — like soul syrup for two.

Artwork Like Humor

A man who is touch with his sensuality is someone who is honest, funny and playful without being childish. Yes, humor can be sensual because laughing together is creating positive feel-good vibes between the two of you.

Laughing with your mate is plain uplifting, while at the same time, it strengthens communication and meaningful bonding — not to mention that connected humor really is soul nourishing.

Psychology Today: “A good sense of humor is one of the most desirable traits in a mate, especially in the early stages of dating. Women are particularly interested in a man with a sense of humor, or more specifically, someone that will make them laugh.”

And while we’re on the subject…

Great communication is like adding a dose of sensuality in your love language in that when intentionally achieved on all levels — verbally, soulfully, spiritually and sexually — as well as taking non-verbal cues from your lover, is when great communication has the ability to transcend the relationship to higher states of “being” together.

Think of it in terms of releasing the “genie in a bottle” between you and your lady-lover. It’s that profound in a relationship.

Only good things can unfold from there, because reaching that beautiful level of communication is the ultimate space existing in the realm of love and connection.

A little more about communicating:

A good communicator is someone who is able to not only think, speak and engage in all types of conversation — from witty banter to deep, meaningful discussions — but he is also able to listen to and practice hearing his woman.

A sensual man has artwork like humor and communication because he possesses attributes like self-awareness, integrity, kindness and empathy, and he knows that to fully connect with his woman is to express himself from his authentic heart.

Artwork Like Love

The expression of love is sensual in nature by default — especially when expressed with a full heart, compassion and much attentiveness.

No other emotion can elicit the depth of sensual, erotic feelings as pure love.

A sensual man is in touch with emotional intimacy and he’s not afraid to take the journey into higher states of love with his special woman. In fact, he invites change and personal transformation through love and connection.

I love how Chris Bales describes it when he said:

“There are cornerstones of a man’s development; sexual understanding and implementation is a huge part of the greater whole. Really learning how to be with a woman’s body and soul is a true art form which requires deep listening and a commitment to presence.”

A sensual man is artwork like love because he understands that to love is to be present with love. He is a man who is in touch with his masculinity, yet cherishes and fully respects the sacred gifts discovered in his woman’s femininity; and he will charge forward in love wholeheartedly — the artwork of a sensual man.

Originally published by P.S I love You on Medium