You often hear about people being in the zone.
Painters being in another place, the paintbrush seeming to have a mind of its
own; musicians so engrossed in the music they are creating. You only have to
look at some of the great guitarists to see what I mean; writers sitting at the
keyboard for hours without a break, not wanting to stop because the words just
keep coming.
If only it was like that all of the time. Alas, that is not always how
it is. Sometimes, we just sit and look at the screen, the empty sheet music
page or canvas and nothing flows.
I am not a writer, artist or musician. I am a Clairvoyant and, in my
work, I have to go to my highest self and above every time I connect to Spirit.
The principals are the same. The following are some of the practices I use to
centre and reconnect to my higher creative self.
Drink water, without hydration you cannot work to your highest potential.
Breathe. The breath is one of the most important and easiest tools we can use to open to our highest creative self.
Close your eyes and take in a deep breath, breathing in through your crown and into your heart.
Take another deep
breath, in through your feet and into your heart. Take another deep breath in
of love from the universe and feel your heart expand.
Breathe in love
from the earth and feel your heart expand.
Breathe in the I AM
love from the universe into your heart, breathe in the I AM love from the earth
into your heart.
Feel your heart
expand, the energy in your heart is your creative essence, let it expand.
Feel the love for the I AM self that is you,
feel it, sit with it, be one with it and allow it to expand and flow through
you to every cell of your being.
Opening your eyes when you are ready.
Affirmations are such a wonderful way of instilling self-belief.
I am a Creative Being
I know who I am and I know how I serve
I am open to my joy
I am peace and allow my joy to flow
Acknowledging Blocks
We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. I also believe that we can change something by looking at the emotion that you are feeling. Sit with it, bring it into your heart, not your mind.
How does it feel?
What emotion are you experiencing?
Fear, anger, frustration, not good enough, fraud? All emotions are valid, even it they are not real. i.e. you are always good enough etc.
Feel the emotion,
hold it in your heart and say this until it lessens or goes away.
I CLEANSE YOU. I CLEAR YOU. I LOVE YOU
I CLEANSE YOU. I CLEAR YOU. I LOVE YOU
I CLEANSE YOU. I CLEAR YOU. I LOVE YOU
Prayer or Invocation
I always use a simple invocation before every reading, or healing. You can do the same thing. It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out prayer it can be very simple. As I work with Spirit, I always ask for God and the angels to be with me. You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to, but I will say asking your angels for help is one thing that you can do and the angels love helping you.
You can say something simple like:
“Thank you, angels for being with me while I write
Thank you, angels for helping me through this block
I call on all the Angels of Creativity to be with me today.”
Judy is a well-known Psychic Medium and Workshop facilitator who is now
in the beautiful and tranquil Tanilba Bay, Port Stephens.
With the move to Port Stephens she will be concentrating more on her
Reading and Healing work with a focus on Light Language.
Skype and phone sessions are available for my overseas, interstate and
distant clients, or if you just can’t get to me in person. Distances makes no
difference to the quality of the session as everything is done with Spirit and
your higher self.
With a quirky sense of humour and many years’ experience, including reading at festivals, the Mind Body Spirit, New Age Shops and her private rooms, you are guaranteed a high degree of accuracy, empathy, integrity and confidentiality.
Turn highly sensitive characteristics into a power tool for your writing career.
“I’m a fraud!”
“I’m not a good enough writer.”
“What am I thinking? No one will be interested in reading my work.”
Any of these self-deprecating mantras resonate with you?
Mantra. There’s a word. If you’re thinking it’s one that doesn’t quite gel with the negative connotation preceding it, then you’d be right. Words like ‘self-deprecating’. A quick squiz at Wikipedia will inform you that the word “mantra” denotes a sacred meaning, a numinous sound or utterance — ‘A group of words in Sanskrit believed by practitioners to have psychological and/or spiritual powers’.
No, I’m not delusional (yet!) nor am I messing around with your head. I’m not attempting to spin a dark twist on an ancient practice rooted in the divine, either, but I did choose the word ‘mantra’ for a reason.
Still uncertain about my intentions? Read on, skeptic creatives, as I attempt to dissect our self-sabotaging inner-demons and pave a way to eliminate those bad boys forever.
Imposter syndrome (IS) is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. In a nutshell, IS boils down to lack of self-belief and self-confidence. This upbeat, feel-good phenomenon isn’t just reserved for the creatives of the world. We’re not so special in that regard. It affects people in all walks of life. However, are you aware that creatives are almost always highly sensitive people who respond to the world in a more reactive way? Nuances like IS are always lingering beneath the surface, ready to pounce.
The nature of writing is an extremely personal practice. Through our words we purge our souls, bleed our hearts, drown in our experiences and flirt with our innermost fears and desires.
We draw on those cards; writers write about what obsesses them.
But finding the courage to go there doesn’t always equate with the fearlessness required when the time comes to share our gift with the world. For highly sensitive people, this is the moment when imposter syndrome strikes like an old relic you cannot shake.
You know what I’m saying. It’s that moment of truth. You’ve just spent countless hours banging on the keyboard and drinking endless cups coffee. You are a writer — committed to story and dedicated to producing your best work and all that entails as you’ve persevered through the long journey. You’ve plotted and outlined. You’ve developed and argued with your characters; you’ve spent more time procrastinating than you’ll admit, and there were times when you succumbed to resistance. Afterwards, you probably paid with a hefty side of guilt. You’ve gnawed, screamed and knuckled down. Then you’ve pushed through the creative blocks and rejoiced when those sweet, magical bouts of inspiration arrived to flow into your words.
Ah, the life of a writer — fascinating yet frustrating all at the same time. And rewarding, because all those hours accumulated to produce your baby, and now that you’ve cleaned, pampered and typed the last words on your preciousness, other people are going to read your work. People are going to judge your intellectual labor too. Cringe.
Brace yourself, dear writer, as you battle those rancid nerves and sometimes forget that you need to breathe. I’m not sure this feeling will ever completely subside but I can offer you a few tools to combat those inner brutes as well as provide suggestions for turning highly sensitive characteristics into a power tool for your writing career.
So, take a deep breath as we get into the guts of this article.
High Sensitivity is a Superpower
Science has confirmed the existence of high sensitivity (did we really need it validated?). In fact, research has showed about 20% of the population are highly sensitive by default. What I mean is that people don’t choose to respond to the world in a sensitive way, they just do.
Before you go brushing this trait away as a sign of weakness, think again. Studies reveal that highly sensitive people (HSP) are often intellectually gifted and are extremely empathetic creatures. They have a heightened sense of awareness too, with an uncanny ability to pick up on the emotions and vibes of those around them. Additionally, highly sensitive people are more likely to cultivate and trust their ability to become attuned and communicate with their higher-mind, AKA their inner-guidance system. Superpowers!
Being a highly sensitive person can mean pain. Quite literally. You may experience acute physical, mental or emotional responses to many situations. These triggers may be external or internal (damned those intrapersonal feedback loops!) While some people want to accredit high sensitivity to the shy at heart, this is not always the case. They can be introverted, extroverted or somewhere in between. However, the traits making you highly sensitive can also be a magical gift for being an amazing writer. Let’s look at how we can use sensitivity to enrich our creative writing.
Embrace your Super-Sensitive Qualities.
Observant
HSPs are aware of details. This characteristic is invaluable as a writer. Often, the small details in our stories can be overlooked or drowned in the bigger global story. Whether it’s story structure and plot or character development, paying attention to detail can provide the qualities and insights that will enable our manuscripts to shine.
Imagination
This mystical resource is critical to the success of every fiction writer. However, the best fiction taps into the minute details that brings characters and scenes to life.For example: An unexpected character thought, reaction, oddity or flaw; the paint flaking as a door opens; the slight limp in his swagger; the way her eyes glaze when she becomes whimsical. You get the drift. Without extreme sensitivity, these details might be impossible to capture.
Generosity
Writing is sharing information and giving to the world. This is particularly true for non-fiction writers. Our true intentions stretch beyond literal recognition or other desires. The act of being an author is generous. Non-fiction authors spend hours tapping into their most sensitive parts — downloading their brain, coordinating and cataloging their thoughts to produce their most useful information to benefit others.
Now that we’ve plunged into why imposter syndrome may be a prominent factor affecting writers and covered a few ways high sensitivity can positively impact our creative work, it’s time to break open the shell, reach within and circle back to those mantras. It’s time to explore the Solar Plexus, discover its key characteristics and how we can make the most of this powerful energy center.
The Solar Plexus is part of the sympathetic nervous system.
This complex system of radiating nerves and ganglia is found in the pit of the stomach. While it plays a vital role in the functioning of the stomach, kidneys, liver, and adrenal glands, this bunch of nerves is also responsible for anxiety symptoms.
That’s right; after the initial rush of excitement accompanying a book release, how often does that high suddenly fade into an internal slide into self-doubt and belief? If this scenario sounds familiar to you, then you’ll know it’s a bad case of imposter syndrome that’s making you feel like a walking scam.
Considering it is the Solar Plexus in our physical bodies that lies at the center of these discordant feelings, we’re going to push beyond the flesh, nerves and ganglia to explore this part of ourselves in a somewhat intangible sense. We’re going to get a little esoteric and discuss the Solar Plexus Chakra.
You’ve probably heard about the seven chakras that exist in our subtle etheric bodies. They are often referenced in the context of emotional healing or meditation. However, you may have found the concept confusing, or not quite figured out what place it might have in your life. But don’t fret, it’s not just the experts that can work with chakras; you can too.
The Solar Plexus Chakra is the third chakra. It is located just above your navel, resonating with the color yellow. This is the energy center associated with self-belief, self-worth, ego, courage, confidence, and personal power. It is vital for this energy center to be balanced so that we don’t experience negative emotional issues.
Let’s examine some of the main elements correlating with the third chakra before moving on to talk about a few alternative approaches we can take to ease our anxiety when it comes to those jarring feelings imposter syndrome can produce.
Key Meanings Associated with the Solar Plexus Chakra.
· Willpower and personal power
· Taking responsibility for one’s life, accepting self-control
· Mental abilities — the intellect
· Forming personal opinions and beliefs
· Making decisions, setting the direction
· Clarity of judgment
· Personal identity
· Personality
· Self-assurance, self-confidence
· Self-discipline
· Independence
Signs your Solar Plexus Chakra may be Imbalanced.
· Excessive control and authority over your environment and people
· Or the opposite in case of blocked energy: Feelings of helplessness.
· Being obsessed with minute details, seeing life through a filter of negativity which may cause you to lose sight of the bigger picture
· Being manipulative
· Misusing your power
· Lack of clear direction, purpose or ambition
· Self-sabotaging behavior and feelings
The Solar Plexus Chakra plays an important role in our self-confidence and self-worth. When this area is out of balance or blocked, we can experience feelings of depression or anxiety, lack of self-control and low self-esteem. These symptoms can also manifest physically and may include:
· Constipation
· Irritable bowel problems
· Reflux problems
· Binge eating
· Addiction
· Overweight or underweight issues
· Diabetes and stomach ulcers
As we move through life, it is important for us to maintain our health in all facets — mind, body and soul. Given the nature of our hyper-connected world, sometimes this can be a challenging state to achieve. If your personality leans toward the highly sensitive side, events like book releases can become overwhelming, particularly when facing deep-seated, self-worth issues fanned by the frenetic flames of imposter syndrome.
By focusing on clearing the Solar Plexus chakra, we can find balance in those moments when dissonance becomes a prominent emotion. Here are a few tools to get you back on track and back to the page.
Crystals for Third Chakra Balance.
Did you know that crystals vibrate with specific frequencies of color and light? There are many crystals and gemstones that help to balance and clear the Solar Plexus Chakra of blockages. Solar Plexus Chakra crystals include:
Citrine
Happiness and confidence, emits large amounts of positive energy. This crystal encourages you to maintain a positive state of mind to attract everything you want in life.
Pyrite
A crystal of positive energy. Helpful for negative thoughts fixed on misfortune and despair.
Yellow Calcite
Helps to increase your vitality and strength. It can give one new hope and a renewed sense of optimism.
Tiger Eye
Helps to release fears and anxieties. It is a great stone for giving courage and self-confidence. Particularly helpful for those who experience lack of self-worth.
Now that we’ve lined up a few crystals, you may be wondering how we’re going to use these gem-babies to help balance our energy center. I have two words for you — meditation and mantras. Yes, this is the part we turn those self-deprecating “mantras” into something positive. So, grab your crystals and let’s get started!
Meditation and Crystals for Third Chakra Balance.
Meditation is an extremely effective way to balance and clear your chakras. The following is an example of how to combine crystals with meditation and mantras when your Solar Plexus Chakra feels out of balance.
1. Hold your crystals in your non-dominant hand while sitting or place them on your body above the naval while lying down.
2. Inhale deeply and imagine a white light coming into the top of your head, allow the light to fill your entire body.
3. When you exhale, imagine any negative energy releasing from your body through your breath — consciously release any low energy vibes and stress.
4. Envision a golden ball of light below your naval spinning clockwise. Every time you inhale, imagine this light growing bigger and brighter. As you breathe out imagine all the blockages and negative energy leaving your being.
Mantras for Third Chakra Balance.
· I am a great writer
· Through my words, I have much to offer the world
· I can make a difference
· I believe in myself
· I am confident
· I am worthy of success, happiness, love (or insert desirable outcome here)
· I am grateful for the opportunities presented to me
· I am a creative writer
· I have the courage to keep going and conquer my fears
· I am everything I wish to bring forth
I’m certain you’ll agree these affirmations sound more like the sacred mantras Wikipedia told us about earlier, right? The greatest thing about practicing mantras is that you can offer yourself any positive outcome you desire. Your thoughts and words have power beyond the ones you release to the world in the form of your stories. They also form the essence of who you are, so choose them wisely.
Now that you’ve become more acquainted with imposter syndrome and high sensitivity and discovered ways to balance your all-powerful Solar Plexus Chakra, it’s worth remembering how important it is to practice self-care.
When you balance your Solar Plexus center, you will feel lighter and confident, and recognize your true potential. You are a creative being, here to spread love into the world through your words and creations. Keeping yourself balanced and cultivating your self-belief will not only improve your quality of life, but also reflect in your work.
Give it a shot sometime; what have you got to lose other than the demonic imposter syndrome?
Natural disasters. Terrorism. Racism. Human rights. Animal cruelty. Inequality.
The world won’t stop for you. Nature will always do its thing, and people … well, they will always be people. Personally, I am among the benevolent among humanity. There is not an inch of me that understands the unjust behaviors often displayed by mankind. I reject discrimination, hate and fear. I reject cruelty of all kinds — violence, malicious intent, inequality, intolerance, corruption and the mistreatment of animals. I renounce spite, resentment and narrow-mindedness.
Humanity is capable of deplorable acts and a merciless attitude. For those that feel deeply, live compassionately and with heart, these immoral behaviors can be extremely unsettling. I turn away from that which affects me negatively and focus on bringing positive and uplifting qualities into the world.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to ignore the ugly stuff. Sometimes, it hits close to home. So close, the option to ignore becomes impossible.
Other times, we are faced with issues and situations at the micro level; personal conditions involving love and relationships, responsibilities, an unseen event or financial concerns. Those are the ordeals we can’t pretend don’t exist. At least, not for very long. Those conditions are a part of life and are also the ones that grip our emotions and cause our bodies to react in some way as our nerves stretch to the very edge.
Stress. It affects us all at some point in varying degrees. Whether it is becoming disturbed about the horrible things affecting our world or our personal experiences, we have no choice but to learn how to cope with the twists and turns life throws at us. Professional writer or not, I believe writing has many benefits from the psychological standpoint. But as writers and creatives, it is through the written word that we find the perfect outlet to work through our emotions, as well as drive home our beliefs and visions for the world. Depending on where you want to take it.
We are complex creatures with many layers and depth. We view the world through the fluidity of our unique perspectives as we evolve, change and reach for new experiences. We are the flesh and blood; the tangible and malleable. Yet, we are also the esoteric and the mysterious; the light and the dark dwell within each of us. And it is our emotions that are our greatest muse.
Words are power
‘Everything begins with words — our stories, thoughts, messages. Each word has its own vibration too. It is these vibrations that create the reality that surrounds us. Words create more than just stories; they inform our universe, our lives and our reality — and they teach us. Through creating words, I have managed to reacquaint myself more fully with my soul and to live a more authentic, love-driven and passionate life.’
Exploring our feelings through writing — personal journals or storytelling — is extremely therapeutic. Some of these benefits include:
Finding clarity
By expressing yourself and communicating complex ideas in a much more effective way, you can discover your true self and honor that part of you.
Eliminate stress
Emptying your mind through writing helps to eliminate the stress hammering in your head. Capturing those moments, developing and working through your ideas produces a ripple effect; since not only do you declutter your mind, but it is also a process of rationalization.
Productivity
Writing activates neurons in your brain and gets you set to face the day. It is demonstrated that setting your goals or systems in writing significantly increases the possibilities of achieving them.
You will learn more
About yourself, the world and others.
You will strengthen and cultivate your writing skills. You will find your voice.
You will gain awareness
If you write down what you have in mind regularly — your dreams, worries, fears, deepest desires — you will realize yourself.
So, now that we’ve explored some of the benefits of writing, let’s take a quick look at how we can use our emotions in our work to enrich our characters and stories.
Frustrated or angry
Use the rage to create story conflict. Inject the anger into your words and release the tension. You’ll find those pages to be edgy and fast, your characters a little narky or moody. Get gritty, dark, even profane. Burn your scenes with the crude and rude, twist the plot with vengeance in your heart and your readers will thank you.
Heartache
Even better. Those words will capture depth and authenticity, pain and despair. Use the turbulent heart to stain your words with grief, bitterness and agony. Your characters are now real, complicated and imperfect. Your plot may be a little dangerous, shady or inspirational. Whatever feeling you’re attempting to convey, it will be sure to bring your readers to their knees as they resonate with your energy.
Happy-go-lucky
Humor brings joy to the world and to your readers. Allow your happiness to bounce into your words and fill the pages with positivity and feelgood vibes. Surge ahead and spread the happy!
Love
Alchemy and deep treasures abound through words of love. There is nothing more sacred in the world. By allowing your love to infect your story, you become an instrument of the highest order. The greatest mystery; the pinnacle of life — love. Deep love. It doesn’t get more real than this. The world cannot get enough of this stuff. Neither can your readers.
Despair and Gloom
The heartbeat of your story; the why, how and where. The all-is-lost moment — vanished goals, mammoth obstacles, impossible situations — build the conflict for your characters and make your story matter. There is a time for everything; a time for tears and expressing the darkness; a time to mourn and wallow in pain. It is through pain that we learn our greatest lessons; through pain that we are reminded we’re still alive. Lend your characters the gift of pain and feel your own lighten in return.
Whether we’re reacting to widespread chaos, disasters or events in the greater world or the experiences we endure in our own worlds, writing is an exceptional tool to use to navigate those rocky waters and glorious peaks life offers us. So, the next time you are feeling a strong emotion, go ahead and get into your writing and see where it takes you.
Our stories can uplift the world one reader at a time. The world needs your emotionally driven words now more than ever. The world needs your love and emotion in all its forms.
“Be where you are otherwise you will miss your life.” – Buddha
I’ve known about
mindfulness and I thought I did okay at it. I live in the present moment and I
try to enjoy things with a child-like glee—or so I thought. Then I heard and
saw someone who excelled at it … and it blew my mind.
I’m emotional and sometimes feelings swamp
me – negative and positive emotions. When this happens, my mind goes at a crazy
rate of knots. Memories flood in taking me back to similar circumstances and
events. I might then get multiple scenarios of what
if as I play out a heap of options in my
head. I go beyond my reactions and circumstances to include those of
other people involved. I may project into the future and imagine what a changed
life might be like, what else may now happen, and how things might work out for
everyone involved. Amid the crazy, swirling emotions and rampaging thoughts, I
try to survive whatever event it may be with dignity. Ha! I always end up
overwhelmed and dignity flies out the window.
I thought this was normal, so imagine my
surprise when my favorite sportsperson (I’m a sports tragic) was going through massive
emotional circumstances—leaving the club he’d always played for, moving cities,
getting married, and preparing for a grand final—instead of being overwhelmed, he
focused his thoughts on the task at hand, whether that was packing a box,
answering a question, or training.
Mindfulness in practice.
His composure made me realize how much I
sucked at it. I had none of that mind control. I was struggling as I imagined
what he was going through. There was no way I could focus on one task and not
think about the future. Besides, as I did a task, I’d be wondering if it was
the last time that I would ever do that and how I felt about that, would I miss
it, would others miss me, etc.
I went out and bought Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Mindfulness
for Beginners: Reclaiming the present moment – and your life. I devoured
it, learning many tools and techniques I had missed. There has been a lot of
improvement but I’m nowhere near the skill level of my sporting hero. I can
attend events where I would have been overwhelmed in the past, such as at a
funeral. I now stop imagining everyone’s life changing, stop imagining their
sorrow, stop wondering how life will turn out, and stop pulling every memory of
previous funerals and grief. I simply allow myself to feel my emotion in that
moment.
This mindset makes a big difference to my
writing. I focus on writing my story and doing the best I can, today, for these
characters. I don’t compare them with previous characters. I don’t compare my
writing today with yesterday, last month, last year. There’s no projecting into
the future, wondering if my publisher or readers will like my story. I keep my
mind in the present moment, and the scene, or sentence, I’m writing.
Of course, I fail often. My mind wonders
and wanders constantly, and that’s okay because I notice it now and I know how
to breathe and call my attention back to this moment. I like to talk to myself,
mostly silently, so I might say, “Hey, don’t stress about what your
publisher’s going to think; you’ve got to get the damn thing written first so
let’s focus on that now.” And my mind laughs and focuses. If I’m
lucky, I get lost in the writing and I’m totally nailing mindfulness.
For complete transparency, yes, I’m embarrassed
that I’ve spent a chunk of my life not knowing how to control my own brain. I
support an Aussie program that’s trying to get mindfulness taught in all schools,
so kids can learn these simple techniques to help them in life. I believe it’s
that valuable.
Mindfulness is about much more than helping with creativity. It assists with everyday life and helps me to navigate the stresses of living without getting completely frazzled and lost in looping memories and projections. If you’re interested in the technique, there are heaps of apps that help by reminding you to be mindful.
Creative Writing Energy: Tools to Access Your Higher-Creative Mindwill give you a range of alternative methods and ideas that you can use to access your higher-creative mind. That part of yourself that remains hidden and unexplored, and brimming with story ideas and characters you have yet to meet. Muse or no muse.
One way to access
our creative higher-mind is through meditation. I know what you’re thinking – meditation
is nothing new and it doesn’t sound as exotic or as sexy as the Tarot. But
before you go jumping to conclusions, I’m going to tell you that meditation is
extremely exotic and stone cold sexy.
How? I hear you ask. Great question. It is
through entering the euphoric buzz offered through meditating that we are able
to push through our inner boundaries to frolic with mysterious tales and visit
enchanting worlds – and most importantly, we then allow higher messages to flow
through to us that inform our daily writing. Is there anything sexier than
that?
Considering meditation has increased in
popularity over recent years, there may be a good chance you’re already doing
it, have tried it, or popped it on the to-do-someday list. If it’s one of the
latter two, now is the perfect time to chillax and get your Zen on.
The
practice of stilling the mind has been around and exercised by our ancestors
for centuries. And for a tradition to stick around for so long, obviously there
must be something to it, right?
Apparently, the exact origins of meditation
are subject to debate among scholars, but whether this spiritual exercise
originated from the Dhyana, Taoists or Buddhists, makes no difference to us
writers. It is in the here and now that we can reap the many benefits offered
through the continued use of meditation, and where we should take advantage of
this limitless well available to us.
While it comes as little surprise that many
people throughout the world are keenly interested in meditating, only a few
really understand its true purpose. Most of us are aware of the many benefits
meditation provides. Research shows that when we meditate, our brain stops processing
so much information. The frontal cortex goes offline, the activity in the
parietal lobe slows down, the flow of incoming information in the thalamus
reduces, and the reticular formation dials back the arousal signal.
What does this mean? – Loads of mental
benefits. Meditation brings the brainwave pattern into an Alpha state that
promotes healing and mindfulness. With regular practice meditation helps to:
Reduce anxiety and depression
Improve emotional stability
Increase creativity, happiness, clarity and intuition
Sharpen the mind
Expand consciousness
But wait, there’s more! The benefits of
meditation are not only limited to our minds; our physiology undergoes a change
too. Every cell in the body increases with more prana (energy). As our prana
increases, so too do the physical benefits. Some of these include:
Lower blood pressure
Lower levels of blood lactate, reducing anxiety attacks
Decreased tension in the body – eliminating headaches, ulcers,
muscle and joint issues as well as easing insomnia
Increased serotonin production that improves mood
Improving the immune system
Increased energy levels
If you know a little about meditation, the
above examples are probably familiar to you. There’s no denying the perks of the
regular practice of meditation. Overall, stilling the mind reduces suffering on
many levels, yet there is a higher, more valuable purpose to meditation that
you may not know – It is through meditating that we strengthen our awareness to
and begin to nurture our connection to the source of all creation, and thus
open the portal to our higher-creative minds.
How perfect that you have this unlimited
resource available at your fingertips!
I know that the prospect of meditation can
be discouraging at times. Often, it can be difficult to calm your mind, stop
the thoughts and get into a space that is quiet. I’ve been there. When I first
started out, I soon gave up after a few tries with the assumption that
meditation wasn’t for me. I’m an INTP personality type, which means my mind
rests at an almost constant stream of ideas and thoughts – to the point I often
drive myself mad. Naturally, meditation was an impossibility for someone like
me.
Not so.
I did leave it alone for a while. A few
years passed, until one day after studying some spiritual text, I dug my heels
in. I found a piece of meditative vibes that suited me, grabbed my earbuds and
set off to embark on a journey, determined to nail this baby or die trying.
That’s another characteristic INTPs possess – when the conditions suit and
we’re feeling it, an unshakable mindset can be our greatest asset. Although,
I’m not sure my husband would agree.
Regardless of all things
personality-driven, once I had decided to persist, nothing could stop me from
my daily meditation sessions. Slowly I learned how to still my mind and release
my soul to other-worldly dimensions. The invisible barriers parted more and
more until I was able to enter the higher realms and succumb to the joy and
peace those places brought, and I experienced the intensity of a love the likes
of which cannot be fully articulated. There are no words enough to explain it
to those who do not understand. Yet, for those that do understand, no words are
needed.
I want you to understand.
The higher realms can seem like an abstract
notion – a golden mirage dangling like a transparent carrot you can never quite
reach. Truthfully, I can understand the driving thought behind that assumption.
There was a time that I may have considered something similar. But I am here to
tell you that those other dimensions your physical senses are unable to
perceive exist and are as real as the tangible life you are experiencing at
this moment. Some would argue that those higher realms are more real than our
physical world, but that’s a whole other subject.
The
main point and takeaways are this – through meditation we can raise our
vibration. When we achieve a higher vibration or energy, we begin to disembody
from our fleshy exterior, and still our mind enough to enter the great silence.
This is where we can feel our connection to all that is and become aware of an
intelligence much higher than any of us. When we begin to make the journey
toward these higher planes, we begin to dissolve the invisible veil often
shrouding our lives; we begin to reacquaint with our authentic selves.
This is where the magic happens. Meditation
is like the springboard for your creativity. It is the place where limitations
mean nothing and we open a current to receive information and messages, and act
as a vehicle to a higher intelligence. This is where art has the ability to
transcend art and is truly worth persevering through the sessions it may
require to achieve a higher-state of mind.
Now that we know the value that meditation
has on opening the pathways to our higher-creative minds, let’s have a look at
a few tips to get you in the Zen zone.
Sit or lie comfortably. You may want to invest in a meditation chair
or cushion.
Close your eyes – or not. I prefer to shut my baby browns and see
through the eyes of my soul.
Choose a soothing or divine sound that resonates with you. I use the
spiritual sounds mentioned in the book Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer.
These sounds are based on I Am, That I Am.
Focus your attention on the breath and on how the body moves with
each inhalation and exhalation. Notice the movement of your body as you breathe.
If your mind wanders, return your focus back to your breath.
Meditate with a focus on creating a current with your creative
resource. I will often ease into a session by repeating the mantra “I Am
creative writing” or “I Am this pure revelation of everything I wish to know” –
keeping my current work in progress in mind.
Meditation is where we find our sacredness and our truths, and with continued daily practice, meditation will help bring balance and clarity into your world as well as magic. As a storyteller, the world needs your magic. Get sexy and exotic with meditation and relish the beautiful experiences that abound in you. I promise you won’t regret it.
“The little things? The little moments?
They aren’t little.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mostly, I have
always had a positive outlook toward life. I’ve always believed at my core that
everything would work out for me – like an inbuilt faith mechanism. Do you know
what I mean? I think we’re all born with this inner knowledge to some degree.
Think about it – it’s an innate survival instinct to believe that no matter
what happens, we’ll be okay. It’s as if we’re aware that something greater than
ourselves is watching over us, guiding us through our darkest moments.
Maybe it’s a kickback from the realm in
which we originate. Maybe the “Creative Source” or some angelic being working
for the Source sprinkled us with golden dust before sending us off to dwell in
human form. But not before serving us with a big dollop of amnesia.
Yeah, some hallowed being with crooked
fingers and a cheesy smile dusted us and said, “Go forth, greenhorn; descend
into the Earth and live your life with no recollection of your true self. That
to rediscover who you really are, you will know joy and love, but you must also
experience pain and suffering – but try not to worry too much because even
though you cannot see or remember us, we’ve got your back. You’ll be okay.”
Sound like a viable scenario? That we were
sent off from our divine origins dusted with amnesia and a side of faith?
Go on – roll your eyes and label me crazy,
but it won’t take away the pain and suffering that we all experience throughout
our lifetime. Years ago, I fell into a deep depression that I struggled to escape.
I had experienced bouts of the blues before when life seemed to get the better
of me, but I was usually able to turn those burdensome feelings around and
fight my way back to a better-feeling place. This time was different though.
The black dog gripped me during a time when I was
raising my three children on my own. Something had happened that triggered me
to spiral into a dark abyss. Every morning I’d awake, force myself out of bed
and get the kids off to school, feeling utterly exhausted and devoid of energy
by the time I arrived back home. Then, I’d curl up on the lounge and stay there
for most of the day. I remember thinking that I’d never cried as much as during
that time, and when I wasn’t crying, I was numb.
This went on for a few weeks before I was
able to step away from myself long enough to have a good look at what was
happening. I was self-aware enough to know the power of thought, and that the
process to feeling better meant I had to adjust my thoughts accordingly. One
better thought at a time would supply the ladder I needed to climb from the
depths of depression encapsulating me. Yet, I was so far down that it was nearly
impossible to create and hold onto positive thoughts and feelings for any length
of time. I knew then that I needed help.
I arranged to see a psychologist. I dropped
my children off at a friend’s place before attending these sessions once a week
during the evening. I can’t recall her name or how she looked but I’ll never
forget how she was able to help me see my situation in a different light. I’ll
always remember how she reminded me of the importance of mindfulness.
“Wherever you go, there you are.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn
She taught me how to train my mind on the
present – that in any given moment to shift my attention to whatever I was
doing and focus on that task and notice the simplicity of my actions. For
example, if I was washing the dishes, I was to focus on the dishes and nothing
else. She asked me to only think about washing the dishes – the warmth of the
water; the way the glassware squeaked beneath the suds; the cleaning process.
Simple. Effective.
Those six sessions with the psychologist
were enough to pull me from the depression shrouding my life. I learned that it
was fruitless to fret about things beyond my control. I couldn’t change the way
others behaved, but I had the power to alter my own perceptions and reactions.
She gave me the tools to curb my own thoughts from dwelling over a past that
was haunting me, by bringing my attention to the present and focusing on now.
Even through washing the dishes. Most of all, I learned how to appreciate the
moments as they arrived – moments that I will never have again.
That is the point of being mindful. When we
train our mind to be in the present moment, we free ourselves to make better
choices. We can focus. We can dream. We can reach further into our
higher-creative minds because we’ve allowed that space to breathe through the
simple act of being present in the moment.
“The only way
to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.” – Tara Brach
I have encountered rough times since. I’ve
struggled with personal matters through writing projects. It is when I can
recall those simple instructions given to me long ago that I tame any urges to
mull over and mourn past events or worry about a future that I’ve yet to
experience. If every minute is unrepeatable, then every minute must be a
miracle. By anchoring yourself in the present, you give yourself permission
to fully experience your life as it unfolds. The more you practice this, the
more you are filled with gratitude and appreciation. In turn, it is those
unbridled feelings of gratitude that pave the way into dissolving the invisible
barriers to your higher-creative mind. I love the way Wayne Dyer explained this
concept when he stated, “Change the way you look at things, and the things
you look at change.”
It’s so very true.
A Moment to Ponder Mindfulness:
Idowu Koyenikan said, “The mind is just
like a muscle – the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets and the more it
can expand.”
Considering your daily “thinking” habits, consider the above quote and techniques that you can use to strengthen your mind for expansion. Are there current situations in your life that could use a little mental tweaking?
Can you think of a circumstance that may require a change of thinking on your part?
Creative Writing Energy: Tools to Access Your Higher-Creative Mindwill give you a range of alternative methods and ideas that you can use to access your higher-creative mind. That part of yourself that remains hidden and unexplored, and brimming with story ideas and characters you have yet to meet. Muse or no muse.
Being a man often means I must accept the fact that men have (arrogantly) made all kinds of decisions affecting women. Many of which were designed and intended as a means of control. Generally speaking, they were designed and intended to forbid women from exercising equal rights and privileges men enjoy because of a deeply flawed sense of paternalism. This decisional oddity is reflective of the culture at the time. I accept this as an historic reality – a reality that was ripe for change.
We live in an age where the situation appears to be improving, but unfortunately isn’t equal. The dynamics of the abortion debate are often difficult and messy because we make it so. It is even difficult for both sides of the discussion to use the same language when talking about their positions. Unfortunately, the law and decisions surrounding the issues often further complicates the matter.
Separate and apart from the
respective sides of the discussion, the sub-debate on abortion is whether men
should have any say in the matter because it’s not their body.
The history surrounding the issue
of abortion has been dominated by the voices of men in the United States until
the Supreme Court determined that it is the woman’s right to choose. That is
settled law and regardless of political movements to change the law, it is
highly doubtful such attempts would survive constitutional scrutiny, at least
in the United States.
At the same time and putting aside principles of constitutional law, if a couple is considered as one in the eyes of God (using a religious view) and the government (the legal view which is reflective of the religious view), shouldn’t a decision about a life created by two people within that union be a matter of qualified agreement to some degree during the pregnancy? After all, the law recognizes rights of fit biological parents once the child is born.
I’m going to say something which
may seem controversial, only because of the ongoing societal debate. Life
begins at conception. That should be an accepted scientific fact. Life even
exists prior to the sperm fertilizing the egg, but upon conception, mitosis
follows and the process of the human embryo begins. If it is left alone and
assuming no other factors, natural or otherwise interrupt it, that embryo will
turn into a human fetus and be born a baby.
All of those words describe a
part of the process and development of human life. However, it is all still
human life – a separate life and distinct from its mother, regardless of
whether it could survive on its own.
The argument that it isn’t a life
unless it can survive on its own is a rather dangerous and slippery slope. If
you put a baby on a hill and left it alone, it will likely die because it
cannot survive in its own. Is a life any less alive in utero than outside
the womb, if neither could survive on their own?
Here’s something that may shock
you; the fact that it is a life is not the end of the discussion for me. So,
you understand this isn’t some kind of academic debate. Allow me to discuss my
personal experiences involving my ex-wife that occurred within our eleven-year
marriage.
Early on, my wife and I became
pregnant. Of course, she was the one carrying but the life inside her was ours.
That isn’t some antiquated notion of paternalism or latent misogyny. She
didn’t become pregnant by way of a visit from an archangel. Having said
that, it turned out that my swimmers were way too eager and fertilized the egg
in her fallopian tube, resulting in an ectopic pregnancy.
The doctors told us that there
was no chance that the fetus would develop or be born, and that if we did not
abort, my wife could go into shock and die.
No brainer, right?
After two shots of methotrexate,
the HGC (Human Growth Hormone) levels in my wife’s system remained elevated, posing
a danger to my wife. It had to be surgically removed. What entailed was a
traumatic experience. My wife bore the brunt of the pregnancy and the burden it
brought – complications, medication and surgical procedures. I was essentially
a supportive and passive bystander who paced a waiting room and did what I
could to attend to her needs.
About a year later, we found out
that we were pregnant again with our son. He is now 9 years-old. Success, from
conception to delivery. There wasn’t a decision to be made about whether he
would be born. He was a life with whom we interacted before he was born.
Legally speaking, she could have terminated him and there would be nothing I
could have done to stop her.
About a year later, we were
pregnant again. When we went for the ultrasound, we were thrilled when we found
out that she was carrying twin girls. We saw them on the monitor and heard
their heartbeats. They were no less alive than our son.
Later, the doctor needed to talk
with us because there was a potentially serious complication. The girls were
monoamniotic monozygotic twins. That’s a complicated way of saying that they
were identical twins, and instead of two occupying separate amniotic sacs
inside my wife’s womb, they were developing in one sac together.
This is a dangerous situation
because of the risks of cord strangulation. The doctor explained the risks –
explaining that we (she) could choose to terminate the pregnancy. We discussed
the matter, agreeing that our twins deserved a chance at life.
We didn’t debate what these two lives
were or whether my wife had a right to choose or whose bodies they were growing
in. We wanted to afford our daughters their fair chance to live. Their fate was
initially in our hands, but no more than the fate of our infant son. In our
son’s case, his birth means that he is protected by the law as a free human
life and we, as his fit parents are both legally responsible for him.
June 3rd, 2011 and twenty-six weeks into the pregnancy, a routine ultrasound revealed that our twins had died. I’ll never forget that day. I was working in NYC and received a call from my wife with the devastating news. Right away, I grabbed my things with no desire to talk to anyone, leaving the most brutal email I have ever composed and sent to my supervisor; “My twins died. I left to be with my wife.” The train ride home was a blur, and not once had I debated whether those girls were a “life”. We had lost our daughters. We didn’t lose feti.
The umbilical cords were
irretrievably tangled around their necks. The potential danger became a
horrible reality. One died and then the
other. On June 5th, 2011 they were officially “born” – if that’s the
right word. I will spare you the gruesome details. But what I saw that day, I
will never forget.
My wife went through the hell of
the delivery. My hell was psychological; to see her going through the painful
labor, and then watch my daughters born dead, strangled in an unholy mesh of
once life-sustaining umbilical cords.
What you might not know is that
after 24 weeks, the hospital does all of the normal things that occur during a
birth, except instead of a birth certificate, they issue a death certificate.
If you are at a hospital and see
a picture of a purple flower on the door of a delivery room, please say a
silent prayer for the poor souls experiencing a quiet and unspeakable journey
through a highly personal hell. I often wonder what kind of strange laws
created this anomaly of having died, but also never having been born. I suspect
it is the result of people not wanting to acknowledge a life in the womb is a
life. Once you call it “life”, people who are not invested in that life assume
they need to make decisions for the lives of all involved.
To recap and to better understand my opinion; I have participated in pregnancies – the necessary termination of one, the birth of another and the death of our twin girls. My wife didn’t get pregnant alone, nor did she decide alone. It was her right to do so and I fully recognize that, but the decisions were made by us. If I had the ability to be pregnant and/or bear her pain, I would have, but that’s not how biology works. I am a man; she is a woman and no debate will change the process of procreation.
It is interesting how these
experiences have molded my perspectives. Having grown up Roman Catholic, I was
always taught to be rigidly prolife. It was a matter of religious dogma, not
subject to debate. As I matured, life also guided me. As a younger man, I
watched my grandmother who had showed me how to love unconditionally, suffer
with Alzheimer’s. I could only watch her slow torture at the hands of that horrible
disease. Until a stroke ushered her death, but not before paralyzing half of
her body and stealing virtually all of her memories.
Later, my father would suffer the
same fate, except mercifully be taken by pancreatic cancer. That’s how bad
Alzheimer’s is; that cancer was a blessing.
What was the state of their
“lives” in the end?
I’m not going to debate the issue
of euthanasia or assisted suicide; however, my point is that they were not able
to live without extraordinary medical intervention. No one would argue that my
family had the right to terminate their lives, only because they were born.
However, in my father’s case, my
mother was his healthcare representative. When my father, riddled with
Alzheimer’s and cancer, and who also had a heart condition, the doctors
recommended a pacemaker be installed. She discussed my father’s options with my
brother, sister and me, and wisely decided not to prolong his journey with
extraordinary means. She remembered my grandmother, who had a pacemaker
installed 20 years prior, and who also went through the entire horrible journey
of Alzheimer’s. She spared my father from that fate. My father wouldn’t have
wanted to live that way.
Put aside the legal discussion
surrounding the abortion issue for a moment because nothing I say will sway a
court of competent jurisdiction, or even move the needle of society’s momentum
in general to agree with my viewpoint.
That having been said, what if
we were to fairly and equitably create a societal standard to guide the rights
of those affected by a pregnancy, and instead of a purely liberty based
standard, we introduced an element of responsibility?
The first thing introducing
responsibility would accomplish is broadcast a message to society in general
that unless it is your sperm or egg, go sit in the corner and shut the fuck up.
Put your cape and collar away and stop reciting the fiction that it is
society’s responsibility to protect that life. If society has a responsibility
to protect life, it wouldn’t fail so miserably when that life is born. Just
look around and tell me about the banged-up job society is doing with the lives
of the born.
If you are advancing a religious
agenda, realize this truth; God will decide things that God decides and your
good intentions have no tangible merit in the discussion. Once the parish
leaves the pews, they must use their God given free will in their lives.
And before you get your markers,
poster boards and pink hats out for the pro-choice march you think I’m intending
to join – let me put my purple hat on and upset you too. (Trigger warning) If
the parents-to-be intend to care for the child once born, both of those parents-to-be
should have near equal rights in the decision about that life. I say “near
equal” because in fairness, a mother carries the child procreated by the couple
and should be the driving force of the decision-making process while that child
is within her.
Why not let the natural order of
the universe guide the extent to which a mother and father-to-be should decide?
Look at it like this, compare the size of the egg to the sperm and that
proportion should be the weight of the decision-making input between the mother
and father.
Before anyone asks the dumb
question: “Well, then shouldn’t a rapist or an abuser be given rights?”
No. Just no. My view point
assumes two consenting adults to the act of procreation. Neither a rapist, nor
an abuser fall into this category. Likewise, where the mother’s life is in
danger, it is her right of self-determination that is paramount.
What I’m talking about is the
elective decision to end a pregnancy; whether or not there is a heartbeat. At a
certain point in the pregnancy where the life is viable, I would add, the
decision of the child should control.
That wasn’t a moment of insanity
or a typo. I mean it. If the child has progressed in their journey to the point
that medical science has determined it is viable and able to otherwise survive
outside the womb, there should be a presumption that the child wants to live.
At that point, I think parents should have made their decisions already, and
unless there was a compelling reason to end that life, the baby should be given
the opportunity to live.
Before everyone on both sides of
the debate begin to sharpen their pitchforks and ready their torches to chase
me out of the debate, I don’t have the ability to affect your decisions and
wouldn’t want to affect them either. If you are pregnant, I would gladly take
my own advice; wish you and yours well and sit in the corner, shutting the fuck
up.
Go ahead, be offended. You have that right.
Xavier Eastenbrick is a soul on a journey of life, meeting souls along
the way. He adds to the richness of the universe and is grateful for each
moment.
“There are no accidental meetings
between souls.” – Sheila Burke
At some point we’ve
probably all contemplated our purpose during this lifetime. It is not unusual
to find ourselves pondering the big stuff:
What is my purpose?
What can I share and contribute to the world?
What is my legacy?
How can I make authentic connections?
What is my life’s meaning?
Sound familiar? It is logical that we reach
a stage in our lives when we yearn for something more and meaningful—a time
when we set out to seek answers about our world, our existence and soul
purpose. In Maslow’s five-stage hierarchy of needs, this self-discovery phrase
of life rests at the top of his five-tier pyramid model in motivational
psychology. Self-actualization is the process of realizing personal potential
and self-fulfillment, as well as seeking personal growth and peak experiences.
It is the desire to become everything we can become.
Creative writing is a soul-calling or
soul-urge. I have yet to meet a writer to have stated otherwise. I mean, just look
at what we put ourselves through – We choose to sit for prolonged periods at a
time to slave (and sometimes procrastinate) over words. It is like homework. To
most people it sounds like tedious homework, and let’s face it, sometimes it
can feel that way. It is during those doubtful moments that remembering why you
began writing that will help to bring you back to your truth. Your why. For
what reasons did you begin writing?
I’m going to assume that you write books
because your soul urges you to create stories to share with the world. Writing
is a soul-driven occupation navigated by the wings of passion. Each writer is
driven by an unknown force to create and release their messages to the world. It
is through creating literature that we find meaning and purpose to our lives. It
is through the creative soul connections we encounter along the way that we
find ease and divine symphony as we fuse together to create for a higher
purpose.
I have discovered so much about myself
since I began writing. I can vividly recall the feeling that encapsulated me
when I sat before a blank screen to begin writing my first book. It was like
nothing I’d ever felt before – an acute rush of tingles and exquisite surges
filled my being. It was as if my soul rejoiced in the moment. It was a
confirmation that I’d finally discovered my soul purpose; my life purpose.
My writing journey has been a wonderfully
fulfilling experience that continues to nourish and feed my soul. I still
haven’t stopped learning about myself, others and the world. Since I began
writing, I have almost become a different person. What I mean is that while I
had been living an authentic life prior to writing, the act of producing words
has somehow reinforced and cultivated my self-perception, driving home my
beliefs and values. Below I have listed some of the points that have come to
light and/or strengthened within me since I have been writing:
I am worthy of having a voice and expressing myself.
What I have to say counts.
To value myself as a writer, a woman and a human being.
Not everyone will like what I create and that is perfectly fine.
Not everything I create will work and that’s okay too.
To own my truth and be proud of those truths even when others judge.
Living in fear is a life half lived.
It is okay to give the kids a frozen pizza every now then. This will
not harm them, and it doesn’t make me a bad mother.
Sometimes the tooth fairy is forgetful, but she always makes up for
it the following evening.
The words I create have power to uplift spirits an inch at a time.
I can make a difference and I am strong and tenacious enough to keep
trying, no matter what.
Regardless of what I am working on, I have an unlimited resource of
creativity available to me that I can access any time.
Connections are important to soul growth and creating. I have
learned to cherish, honor and appreciate those connections.
I am not perfect and that’s okay.
People will appreciate and respect my imperfections as well as the
honesty I bring to my work.
Writing from the heart will attract the right audience for me.
Believe and trust in myself and the universe.
Can
you relate to any of the above? Do any of these points resonate with you?
Words are power
Everything begins with words – our stories,
thoughts, messages. Each word has its own vibration too. It is these vibrations
that create the reality that surrounds us. Words create more than just stories;
they inform our universe, our lives and our reality – and they teach us. Through
creating words, I have managed to reacquaint myself more fully with my soul and
to live a more authentic, love-driven and passionate life. In turn, embracing
these rich inner layers will produce an unbridled fever that shines through my fictional
and non-fictional writing.
Aside from the inner-growth, self-discovery and enrichment that your writing can bring to your life, we must acknowledge that our words can be extremely healing and enlightening to others. Too often we underestimate the power and importance of creativity. Therefore, there is a certain amount of responsibility that accompanies our work as writers. A certain amount of faith the universe has entrusted to us. This faith is also apparent within the connections that cross our paths throughout our writing journey.
We meet many people in our lifetime. Some are good and others are not. People cross our paths all the time, whether it be through social meetings and mutual acquaintances, work opportunities, meeting someone by chance at an event or some other scenario. They come and go, and mostly they may drift into the background of your past, barely summoning enough effort to be thought of again.
Then sometimes our paths collide with
someone special – a kindred spirit that seems to stir something deep within us
as if our souls have known that person long before we encounter them. Perhaps
long before this lifetime. Often, people will come together to create something
profound and important. It is through these crucial soul connections that our
own creativity is renewed and energized, which can bring positive change to the
world.
How do we know when we’ve encountered a
profound creative soul connection?
Have you ever met someone with whom you
feel an inexplicable connection? Upon meeting them you may have felt an instant
pull that defies logic or reason. Even before getting to know them, you sensed
a special dynamic that you felt compelled to explore. I have been fortunate
enough to have encountered a kindred spirit or two during my writing journey.
These special people have come into my life for the purpose of collaborative
creation and to produce change at a deeper level within myself. Personally, I
think that is how you know when you’ve met someone crucial – you unite for the
sake of creation and their presence in your life somehow evokes a personal
change.
Meeting Catherine was like that. We met
when I attended one of her workshops during the Wollongong Writers Festival. I
remember looking over all the workshops on offer prior to booking. I was
immediately drawn to Catherine’s. I took notice of the underlying feelings that
accompanied me when deciding whether to attend the event, and honestly, cannot
fully articulate why, but I knew that something profound and important would
result from attending. Specifically, there was a deep sensation surrounding
Catherine, and that was before we had met.
Catherine is unlike anyone I have ever known. What I mean is that from the start it felt as if Catherine was someone I already knew before we even met. She was familiar to me. There exists a unique and special bond between us that we are both aware enough to recognize and appreciate. Our union has brought change to both our lives in positive and meaningful ways. The combination of us may appear highly contrasting on the surface – we often find a sense of amusement in contemplating our union. We think in different ways and our work is distinct from each other. Yet, it is those offbeat divergences that complement one another, and it seems to work. It has resulted in writing Creative Writing Energy together; a title we are excited about because the topics are a shared passion. Moreover, we are honored to share the culmination of our connection to bring that positivity direct to you in the form of these words.
Keeping that in mind, let’s look at some of
the signs to be aware of that may signify a profound connection has entered your
creative world:
1.
They change you on a profound level. You will gradually sense that there
is something about you that will never be the same. You may begin to feel a
significant shift in your inner landscape that often reflects in your outer life.
2.
The energy exchange that you have with a soul connection on a
professional level will ignite your creative flow and bring a sense of “inner-knowing”.
In short, these connections will make you want to be a better writer and
person.
3.
They bring contemplation to your life and make you aware of the things
you love and hate about yourself. These individuals will always mirror your own
qualities. In the creative realm, embracing these qualities will bring more
passion and integrity to your words.
4.
You know that you won’t forget them. We meet so many people over the
course of our life. Our memories fade over time but soul connections cannot be
easily forgotten. The imprint they leave on your soul, your work and life
cannot be erased.
It is delicious, is it not? Soul work and
life’s mysteries. The most important thing to remember when it comes to our
creative soul connections is that when it happens, you will know. Writing
doesn’t always have to be a solitary process. There is no mistaking the divine
phenomena that exist when two souls come together to create for a higher
purpose – you feel it all the way from your crown to the tips of your toes and
it feels wonderful.
Therefore, the next time you sense something different or profound about someone you encounter along your writing journey, don’t be too hasty to push it aside. Allow yourself to submerge in the feelings and sit with the current of energies and acknowledge your intuitive powers. It is often these special connections that reveal to us more about ourselves and begin to shine a light on the path leading toward our higher-creative minds. It’s amazing what soul connections can help us to achieve as artists and as human beings.
Excerpt from Creative Writing Energy: Tools to Access your Higher-Creative Mind.
Latest YouTube Blog Instalment Uplifting the world through drumming circles!
Energy. I
learned about it in science. It’s forever linked to E = mc2 and Einstein, for
me. I played sport, so energy is also equal to exercise and doing things. And I
also associate energy with people – she’s a high energy person, he’s a low
energy guy, she takes my energy – yet I haven’t really understood what that
meant.
Some
years back, I wrote a short story about an energy/emotion draining vampire. It
came out of my thoughts about people. When I was with some people, I left
feeling completely hollow. Other people left me buoyed. Others I felt the same
as when I’d met them. What did that mean?
As I
started looking into things to improve my health, I came across stuff about
‘toxic people’ and how some people needed to be avoided because they took and
didn’t give back. I started to recognise that these were often the people who
left me drained. As I had less and less energy, I couldn’t be near these
people, and I jettisoned so many. Some had been friends, some I thought were
close friends, but they all seemed to roam away as soon as I couldn’t be a
shoulder for them (or a source for their constant need for energy).
I didn’t
understand it, even as I did it.
Last
year, I had less and less energy every day and it worried me terribly. I had a
virus, I had to rest and drink fluids. But this treatment wasn’t replenishing
my energy. I had no clue how to get more. I began to read.
I read
about Mindfulness and Meditation with a Jon Kabat-Zinn. It was eye opening. I’m
hopeless at meditation, or so I thought, but he gave me hope.
In Joe
Dispenza’s Becoming Supernatural, he gave a heap of scientific reckoning to
support his arguments. He took Einstein and made it relative to his arguments.
He claims that emotions are energy. Negative emotions (anger, fear, stress,
grief) have less (or heavier) energy than joyful emotions (gratitude,
happiness, joy, love). At least, I think that’s what he said – that’s what I
took from it anyway! The happier, lighter emotions oscillate at a higher
frequency, they make you feel better, lighter. He says that meditation and
focussing on the energy within you, can increase these joyful emotions and you
can heal yourself by changing the expression of genes by changing hormonal
responses.
Just
before I bought this book, I had my first acupuncture session (after having a
treatment many years before, but not continuing it). During the acupuncture
treatment, I was left in a quiet, dark room with soft music playing. I had
needles in my feet, hands, face, and lower legs. I had nowhere to go and
nothing to do but lie there and relax. I felt like I was dying when I walked
into that place. I’d driven the 20 mins to get there and it had exhausted me. I
hadn’t driven for most of the year because I hadn’t had access to a car, so I
was putting it down to stress, plus virus. As I laid there, wondering if this
might help and hoping I’d be right to drive home, things started happening
inside me. Tingling, fluttering things. It started in my toes and moved through
my body. Slowly. Like ants crawling over me (except not as creepy or bitey!).
My body began to twitch and move. Voluntarily. There was a white light in my
mind and my stomach that was spreading (and I know this is weird, I had my eyes
closed, but it’s warmth and heat is why I call it ‘light’ but it may not have
been light as such). About halfway through the session, I felt like this was
working. I had hope.
I left that place with energy.
I wish I
could explain how that worked. In my science head, I’m thinking that the
pinpricks into the skin begin some kind of immune system response, which fires
up the immune system and that’s what I was feeling. But shit, I’d had a
freaking virus for 12 months and that immune system had konked out trying to
fight it. So how did this work?
I have no
bloody idea.
But since
then, I’ve improved every day. I have energy. I’m starting to feel those good
emotions again – joy, love, gratitude, compassion. I’m doing my day job, plus
writing, plus doing house and garden work, plus volunteering at the local
nursery. I’ve been able to have visitors and go visiting. I’ve had energy to
climb towers, run about with kids, swim, walk, travel. Things I could not for
the life of my do the past 13 months when I could hardly do my day job and cook
tea.
I don’t
understand it, but as one of those books said, sometimes you just have to thank
your left brain for trying to rationalise what’s happening, and let your right
brain smile and be glad it’s occurring.
So, I’m
celebrating. Celebrating the return/release of my energy.
In
Becoming Supernatural, Dispenza says that energy is everywhere and it switches
and changes and flows. He says sometimes we give energy to the outside flow,
sometimes we draw it in from the outside, sometimes we circulate the energy
within us.
Einstein said
that Energy could neither be created nor destroyed. It sure felt like I’d
destroyed mine, but I’m ever so glad I have it flowing again. I don’t intend to
lose it anytime soon!
Are you a writer interested in tapping into your higher-creative mind?
Releasing Soon!
Creative Writing Energy: Tools to Access Your Higher-Creative Mind will give you a range of alternative methods and ideas that you can use to access your higher-creative mind. That part of yourself that remains hidden and unexplored, and brimming with story ideas and characters you have yet to meet. Muse or no Muse.
Creative Writing Energy: Tools to Access Your Higher-Creative Mind is the first in a series for authors from bestselling and award-winning authors, Kim Petersen and Catherine Evans.
Through this post, I am sharing my story in the hopes of
educating others. Not only in recognizing abuse, but to also shed light on the help
and resources available for victims of abuse.
My name is Kai. I am a 41-year-old mother of three beautiful sons. All of my life I have fallen victim to one form of abuse or another. Until quite literally, it took my world falling apart and finding myself and my three boys homeless for almost a year to actually recognize what was happening to me.
Even before I was born, I was at a massive
disadvantage.
My father was a paedophile who before my birth had already
interfered with my elder half siblings.
My mother had been abused as a child before she was handed
into an arranged marriage at such an early age, that she didn’t even know what
it meant to be a wife, a mother or a woman.
She had endured nine years of severe abuse from her much older Italian husband until she eventually escaped that situation only to fall into the clutches of my father who destroyed her world on a whole new level. As you can imagine, her harsh experiences had a significant impact on her, spilling over into forming her own psyche – making her very controlling and overbearing, and setting the bar for what my sisters and I were to deem as “Normal” in a relationship setting.
My saving grace was that I got to live with my grandparents for the first four years of my life, due to my mother having a break down. My grandparents were loving, stable, and kind, and they adored me – which became a memory that I clung to and gave me hope for the oncoming days of my life. There was a time when I had known love without control or abuse. Not only did I know that that kind of love existed, but at one stage in my life it was given freely and without condition.
Within this post, it is my intention to not only demonstrate
the signs that you should be looking for when dealing with a narcissist and abuser,
but to also bring light on the fact that abuse is not only limited to partners.
It can be delivered at the hands of parents and siblings, co-workers, bosses or
friends, and sometimes, sadly even children.
You can break the cycle.
It is important to recognize that a lifetime of being subjugated to abuse, does not mean you have to continue to live that way – yes, abusers have a way a sniffing out the vulnerable. And that is all it is – vulnerability due to subjugation. There is nothing wrong with you.
There is nothing about you which makes you deserving of this treatment.
It is NOT your Fault!
It is a matter of readjusting your thinking patterns to view yourself and your circumstances in a new light – retraining your mind to not only recognize the early signs of abuse, but also, to act early on.
Self-empowerment and education are key to rejecting an abusive life and not tolerating this kind of treatment from anyone, or in any form.
Let me just clarify that not all abusers demonstrate abusive
behavior from a point of hatred or even wanting to hurt others. They
tend to do so as a result of their experiences and conditions – learning these
toxic practices through the trauma they have endured throughout their own
lives.
It is not uncommon for an abuser to use these trigger points to manipulate situations and the people around them. It is a tool to get what they want. The fact is, most of us have been through hard times during our lives and learn to work through our pain without transferring those demons onto others.
I find that there is such a selfishness around holding onto
hurt and using that pain as an excuse to justify our behavior. Yet, those that
abuse others will often use their past as a tool that conveniently blinds them
to the truth of their actions. Many times, they do not actually recognize what
they are doing, and they will deftly alter the reality of a situation to
support their delusions. This is when the familiar phrases of an abuser will occur:
“I’ve done nothing wrong”, which
generally follows with an accusation, “you caused it”, “it’s all your fault”
or my personal favorite, “you made me do it”.
My mother was the first to use this kind of manipulation on me
and it wasn’t until the “big breakdown” of 2011 that I even began to recognize
this. She would manipulate myself and my siblings by claiming that she would not
be a part of our lives if we didn’t bend to her will. Which was shortly
followed with her expressing her regret of having ever having children at all. She
had negated us with her words with constant reminders of her disappointment in
us, and she blamed us for everything. To her, we were at the core of her every
problem; her every hardship; her every pain endured throughout her lifetime.
Can you guess how hearing those words from a mother impacts a
child?
Guilty. Responsible. Worthlessness.
To the point that we felt so utterly responsible for the “horrible” state of her life that we would do anything she asked to keep her happy – and all at the expense of our own happiness. Including leaving relationships and the people in our lives that we loved to appease her, or ditching important obligations and plans to cater to her needs and wants.
Years later, homeless and living with a friend in Katoomba, I
received counselling. These sessions were like a pinnacle of light for me,
shining clarity over the cycle of abuse and helping me to understand toxic
behavior.
I learned about how people like this have the ability to make
you feel responsible for their survival. When in reality, they are extremely
resourceful and will manipulate others into doing their bidding – until you discover
the power of the word “NO”.
I was 32 years old before I used this for the
first time.
My mother had turned myself and my three children out on the street when we had needed her the most – I had managed to escape an abusive relationship and we had nowhere to go. We’d been staying with a girlfriend temporarily, but had eventually overstayed our welcome – three young boys with a depressed mother doesn’t make for great house-guests. My mother was our last and only option, yet she turned us away to live on the street.
Her refusal to help me and my children cut to the
bone; her words were like ice in my ears and a chisel through my heart.
What was I going to do? I was depressed and penniless with three
boys and a car packed full of the only possessions we had left in this world.
How could I subject my boys to a life in a refuge after all we had just been through? After all I had done to get us out of an unhealthy environment at my mothers’ behest, I now had to shame myself further by asking for the help of strangers. I mean, who would want to help me if my own family wouldn’t?
It was failure that encompassed every part of my being – how
much more of a failure could I be as a woman and a mother to further subject my
children to these situations?
So, I hopped in my car and looked for some place suitable to park and sleep for the night. I drove through my childhood town with the underlying urge to get as far away from where my ex-partner was as possible, finding myself in the parking lot of my high school.
Security turned up and moved us along, but not before asking
if we were living in the car and if we needed help. Of course, my pride
wouldn’t allow me to admit to our perilous circumstances and I denied such a horrible
assumption before moving on. For three days we wandered – cold, hungry,
hopeless and not knowing where or how to ask for help.
I had hit my lowest point; I had become a single mother with no home and no relationship, and had spent the majority of my life having every small failure pointed out in grand fashion. I didn’t know there was any kindness in this world outside of that warm embrace and kind smile shown to a small child by her grandparents.
It was during this time that my mother called me – not to check to see if we were okay or to offer help, but to ask for me to research pay grades for my eldest sister. My loud and resounding “NO” resulted in my first ever panic attack, as well as the cold silence that followed from my mother lasting for a solid 18 months. You see, for the first time ever, I had dared not yield to her desires.
This “NO” felt as though it was the final blow to my already
crumbling existence. What would I do without her help? How would I survive
without my mother to tell me what to do next? And how on earth was I meant to
make these decisions on my own? Clearly, I wasn’t any good at it – just
looking at my current situation proved that point.
But there something else – that same singular “NO” started a
snow ball reaction, and all from that one profound moment when I had chosen to
put myself first instead of succumbing to my mother’s demands. Resisting her
wishes changed me and the course of my future.
Left with no one to tell me what to do meant I had to find
that inner-strength and make the hard decisions myself – for me and for my
children. I dug deep and found a resilience I had not known existed; I got the
help we needed in order to get us back on our feet and start again; I battled
suicidal urges; feelings of worthlessness and my value as a mother… a woman … a
human being.
It wasn’t easy. Each day I had to make the CHOICE to continue.
And each day, I rang the life-line helpline to talk to people who kept me from
slipping over the edge that loomed so dangerously close.
Those months were some of the scariest and challenging moments of my life, and it took every ounce of my inner-strength to get through – I found love, guidance and assurance in three very brave young men that stood by my side through the entire ordeal. They were my only reason for every step I took in the right direction, and they became my sole focus in striving to become a better person. My boys’ constant presence in my life drove me forward to eventually find a beacon of light at the end of the darkest of tunnels.
It was through the wonderful support of the refuge that we got
the help we so desperately needed:
We were
given a roof over our heads.
They
provided us counselling.
They
educated me on the cycle of abuse.
I learnt
to trust and believe in myself again.
We were
surrounded by supporting love.
We
received financial help.
I cannot express gratitude enough for those days, for without
having been homeless I would have quite easily slipped back into God knows how
many more years of abuse. It took a lot of hard work and self-love to convince
myself that I was worthy of love; of happiness. But I got there in the end, and
so did my beautiful boys. And it was that one small word that had been the
catalyst in flipping my world upside-down until it was righted again.
Nowadays, there are no more “red flags” in my life – there are
only deal breakers, and with every beat of my heart I know without a doubt
that:
I am
worthy of being loved the way I love others.
I am
worthy of happiness.
I am
worthy of being treated with kindness.
I am
worthy of acknowledgement.
I am
worthy of respect.
I am
worthy of honesty.
I am
worthy of safety.
I am
worthy of having a voice and expressing myself.
I am
worthy of a drama-free life.
And
asking for help does not make me weak.
I have learnt that no one has the right to:
Devalue me.
Make me question my sanity.
Put me down.
To project their behavior on me.
To be wary of those that feel the need to assure you they are good, genuine or kind.
To stand my ground against those who fabricate to win an argument.
That I will not be blamed for things that are not my fault.
That those who can’t take the time to listen, do not deserve to hear my voice.
That being mean “as a joke” is still being mean, despite the laughter.
That I will not tolerate threats or ultimatums.
That I will not be manipulated by using my friends, family, pets, lifestyle, or choices – I will not have someone triangulate a situation.
That I will not allow someone to put words in my mouth.
That if someone chooses to target my reputation as a means to control me that that is purely an opinion and those in my life that count should know better.
That no one has the right to break or damage my belongings.
All of the above are a form of ABUSE; above and beyond actual physical violence.
For the first time in my life, I am in a positive, loving and
supportive relationship with a woman whom I am head over heels in love with.
Who is deserving of my time, my love and every moment of my attention. Although
the road to get here was broken and a lot of time was spent on paving the way,
I realize that there are good people out there.
You are one of them.
I will continue to always show kindness and compassion to
others, but I am now selective of who is worthy of the love I have to give. I
hope my story has touched those who need it the most. Thank you for reading!
Helpful recourses in Australia:
1800 Respect Line 1800 737 732
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
About Kai Calvi…
Kai is a mother of three sons. Holds Diplomas of Business as well as Interior Design and Decorating. Runs her own small design business whilst managing a Dental Surgery in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs. Kai is an advocate of Mental Health awareness, Domestic Violence and Women’s rights, as well as being actively involved in the LGBTQI community.
