Damn, I wish there were more of them.
I love women.
Men say it all the time. They’ll often tell their buddies, openly declare it to women, and sometimes even announce it via their social media accounts. Despite that they clearly have not encountered every woman in the world.
***
I love women.
He speaks.
But what does he mean?
Does the man mean it literally? If so, that would mean he is devoid of even the slightest hint of misogyny gathering in the recesses of his being.
Apologies. More than once, I have questioned if such a man exists.
So maybe, when a man says that he “loves women,” he really means that he likes the idea of women.
There’s a significant difference.
Because in a culture where men’s aggression toward women is often expressed through sex and most men are confused and misinformed about how to love a woman from a place of integrity, ideals usually work better for them.
Ideally, a man can enjoy the company of and delight in women’s thought processes. He admires her physique and beauty and appreciates the feminine touch women bring to his life.
That’s ideal.
Until he doesn’t get what he wants from her or things don’t go his way.
Often, a man loves a woman until she stops doing what he likes.
It’s conditional love.
For example, if he feels challenged by a woman, the same man who claims to love her can easily yield to his innate desire for power and control to fulfill his internal inadequacy. He might even attempt to dominate and denigrate her – intellectually, physically, spiritually, sexually.
Why?
Well, since the dawn of civilization, men have treated women as second-class citizens, seductresses, and sex slaves, from African American slavery to the Nazis-driven Jewish genocide to racial or religious bigotry. Time and time again, history is strewn with rape and brutality against women.
Men have mishandled us from the beginning.
So, this horrible trail of threatening, assaulting, and punishing women has created a subconscious bias of misogynistic mindset that has carried through the generations where many men are taught from a young age that they have an inherent right to power, particularly over women.
These warped beliefs are where the “boys must be strong and aggressive” narrative stems from and support male entitlement, toxic masculinity, objectification of women, and violence against women. It’s everywhere and in every culture. It directly counters men’s highest role with a woman – to patiently and consistently show up for her as she disentangles the abuse and mishandling that she has endured at the hands of males who have come before him.
It’s unconditional love.
Make of it what you will, but it’s the nourishing depth of a man’s presence in the connection process that every woman needs to experience and witness before she fully opens up for him.
***
Men who love women do things like this:
Let me first say that none of us are perfect. We are here to make mistakes and learn and grow from our shortcomings. We are also here to evolve from a past that has distorted the male/female dynamic, negatively impacting the quality of our relationships, lives, and happiness.
We are here to love.
So, the faster a man can get out of his own way in the connection process with a woman, the quicker he will find more profound meaning and higher love in his life.
He recognizes her realness.
And I’m not talking about the “real” things she can do for him like fix his nightly feed, sex as her duty, and her baby-making role in his life. Or, indeed, other forms of male entitlement are considered legitimate forms of masculinity in society.
Like:
- Expecting women to behave a certain way.
- Thinking men are better decision-makers.
- Dismissing a woman’s opinion.
- Treating women as lesser human beings.
- Insisting on respect before he has earned a woman’s trust.
No.
I’m talking about something far more potent for him, which exists on the other side of her heart – the place where a woman embodies her spirit and pussy – her essence and realness.
Men who genuinely love women have figured out that to taste a woman’s wine is to receive the soft layers of her unraveling feminine gifts, which can transcend and nourish his life and their love union.
Nice, huh.
Well, it is for the man who can go there with her.
Because when a man can recognize a woman’s realness, he will receive her holy fire and undeniable love – her light, compassion, loyalty, enhanced intuition, tenderness, and the unbridled power of her sensuality –
Her fully awakened sexuality.
But these superb feminine qualities are never just given to a man without his conscious effort to earn a woman’s trust. So he’ll need to embody the tools and wisdom to demonstrate his male proficiency and trustworthiness by allowing her to challenge and test him before she fully opens herself to him.
Of course, that takes a man’s patience, dedication, and a solid commitment to “self” to recognize a woman’s realness and what that means for him.
It takes inner work.
Self-work to face his inner demons and heal all of his wounds, and see beyond a society that encourages him to play games with women, devalue, exploit, and mistreat women.
Honestly, it’s about letting go of old patterns to make way for a new way of being, thinking, and perceiving the world – all without the help of his mommy, of course.
Only then can he hold a woman.
I mean to hold her within his conscious power and his arms.
He will let her know that he is there with her so that she may continue to trust him with her unfurling process.
Again, it takes patience.
And emotional maturity.
And honesty.
And vulnerability.
And open-mindedness.
And integrity.
And a whole lot of heart and soul to hold a woman.
Truthfully, the process is not for the faint at heart or men with a weakened backbone.
I make no apologies. More than once, I have questioned the quality of today’s men.
So maybe society’s exaggerated gender roles support a belief system that promotes hypermasculinity where masculine qualities like competitiveness with other men and feminine domination amplify sexist thinking.
We all know those males who ascribe to aggression, insensitivity, physical dominance, cruelty, bold ambition, and unrealistic demands.
Hypermasculine men cannot hold a woman.
Neither can weak men.
Here’s another truth: I can’t help but notice a convergence of “soft cocks” among contemporary men, and I’m not talking about men who cry.
No. Crying is a healthy way of expressing emotion and by no means contradicts a person’s strength.
Do you know those men who run like the wind when the shit hits the fan? They are the types who will leave the dirty work to someone else, don’t know how to love a strong woman, will often deny the truth in favor of comfort zone territory, and is never there when you need him.
Yeah. Weak men cannot hold a woman.
But a man in touch with himself, has developed his spirituality and has arrived in a mature place of being as a direct result, can rise in his role with a woman.
That man can hold a woman.
Because he’s done the work.
He takes full ownership of who he is and possesses the self-awareness to love a woman. He has the guts to sense her heart and honey, show up and feel, penetrate and hold her with his consciousness so that she has something solid to trust and respond to.
Because if a man cannot sense a woman, she cannot trust him.
That doesn’t mean he supports her bullshit, either. It means that he holds her accountable and assists her in opening her heart and soul and vice versa.
***
So, I love women.
He speaks.
But what does he mean?
Does the man mean it literally? If so, that would mean that he has learned how to be present with women enough to communicate directly and love fiercely without a hint of misogyny gathering in the recesses of his being.
It would mean that he is present enough within himself to fully respect and be present with the magnificent and powerful life-force energy that birthed him – the warmest, safest, and most nourishing place available to him.
Does such a man exist?
I believe this male is a rare beast.
Still, I’m grateful for the men out there who understand what it means to love women and have chosen different paths of integrity, maturity, presence, and connection.
But dear goddess, I wish there were more of them.
