relationships, Romance

4 Things Women in Their 40’s Really Want in a Man

We’re not demanding. We just want what we want.


Years ago, my girlfriends and I relished the quiet hours when we’d steal away from our male friends to sit beneath the stars with a drink and embark on deep and meaningful conversations.

Seems like a lifetime ago.

As eighteen-year-olds, we did this frequently. Girls need other girls. We need to talk and be heard, and there is nothing like a girlfriend’s ear. We’re good at it, too. It’s like soul and heart therapy wrapped up in a special friendship bundle. Back then, it was boys and relationships that dominated the conversation, and sometimes, Michael Hutchence.

Star of my teenage dreams.

Mmm … where was I?  

I don’t see my old friends too often nowadays. We are a far cry from those Michael Hutchence lovesick girls who shared everything and cried together over the most trivial things (okay, the bourbon may have played a part in that bit).

Life happens. Rock stars die too young and lone strands of rebellious hair appear in places it never did previously. But, every now and then, I am able to snatch a few wonderful hours with my friends to touch base and catch up.

Women need other women. We need to share deep secrets with someone who really understands us. Most of my emotional strength has come through the support of my sisters throughout my life. We give each other an outlet when most needed. 

The conversations may have changed over the years, but the deep bonds have only strengthened. Unsurprisingly, men still seem to wind their way back into our discussions.

During a recent get-together, I recently asked them what a 40-something woman looks for in a man.

Ready to be a fly on the wall?

Here are the four most vital qualities that prevailed from the conversation:

(Disclaimer: the following is not professional advice and subjective material discussed by a few Aussie women who just know this stuff.) 

1. Please don’t compare us to younger women.

Compliments are wonderful. Some 40+ women might be in great shape and appear younger than their age – but we don’t want to be compared to a woman in her 20’s or 30’s because, well, we’re not her.  

It is true that some men in their 40’s and beyond want a young “trophy” on their arm. It’s probably safe to say that every woman in her 40’s has at some point contemplated if her significant other has toyed with the idea of trading her in for a younger version.

We’ve all seen The First Wives Club. 

Thankfully, some men do prefer the love of a mature woman who knows how to handle her man. He recognizes that women of a similar age as him are the women he can relate to since they share a common demographic.

Women value a man who sees life the way we do; who sees us for who we are and what we have to offer – confidence. Among other things.    

Time might have passed in a blink of an eye but we are in our 40’s – we have self-knowledge and life experience, and we’ve earned every inch of those golden nuggets. We know who we are and what we want. In return, we would very much like those qualities to be appreciated by our men.  

2. Mature women do want romance.

Just skip the flowers. Did anyone ever say this out loud?

We might be outliers on this one, but check it out:

Giving a woman flowers is a lovely gesture. They smell nice and they’re pretty, but we have enough to do without hunting down an elusive vase, trimming stems and combining a sachet of sugary life-prolonging powder into water before arranging the bouquet just so.

This is unduly followed by days of cleaning up the wilting petals and making sure the water doesn’t dry up.

In short, we don’t want anything that requires us to do extra work.   

Quality romance to a woman in her 40’s is attentiveness and time. We want to feel the connection. We want to be “wooed” through acts of consideration, respect and support, and we want to feel special.

Many of us are working long hours in our careers. It’s much more romantic and meaningful when a man takes the time to learn how you like your tea rather than to receive flowers. 

3. No game-players.

“I don’t want to pretend to be anything I’m not, and quite frankly, I’m too tired to deal with someone pretending to be something they’re not.” 

True story.

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – don’t bring the games. We’re too … erm … old and too tired for the ring-around. Time is precious. We don’t want to waste it on games when what we want is someone special.

Women in their 40’s have been through their fair share of relationships and marriages. We have learned from those relationships enough to be in tune about what we want from a man, and we’re ready to get it right.

Mature women are looking for a genuine man who practices kindness and lives from the heart. Someone who will treasure her heart enough to never let her down.

What we want is an emotionally-sound and self-realized man who can express his feelings and take responsibility for his actions; one who knows the value in time, love and vulnerability.

In simple words, it is an authentic connection that mature women want.

4. Self-awareness is key.

It is a special man who can steal and keep the heart of a woman in her 40’s. She yearns for soul-quality. Someone who understands himself. He is on the same page as her, has learned from past relationships and is not interested in repeating old behavior patterns.

Let’s be honest, the prospect of great conversation with an intelligent man is extremely appealing to a woman in her 40’s. In fact, it’s a damned turn-on. There is a reason why the human brain is the most powerful sex organ – use it.

Narrow-mindedness, stinginess and nit-picking are a big no-no. Let the small things slide and learn to laugh at yourself.

Humor is sexy.

So is thoughtfulness.

We are women who appreciate a man who contemplates higher-level concepts and life meaning. Someone with a broad perspective and possesses the ability to focus on the bigger picture.

And while we’re talking self-awareness, a little (or a lot) of that quality won’t go astray in the bedroom either – an unselfish lover makes the world go-around … and around.

And around.

***

Life is really a journey toward self-actualization. We’re in it together. Regardless of what life-stage we are at, wise is the man who recognizes the gift of a woman’s heart – a gift that should be cherished.    

Real love is a treasure-trove waiting to be discovered through true connection. At the end of the day, that is what women in their 40’s desire in a partner. At least, these women.   

 


 Originally published by Hello, Love on Medium.

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Rosemary A Johns: Vampires & Angels

Award-winning and best selling Author Rosemary A Johns has always been a rebel, a trait I can closely relate to 😉  She writes sexy British anti-heroes, savage vampires, and epic battles. Recently I had the pleasure to chat with Rosemary about her newest release, Vampire Huntress, writing and her incredible theater background.

  1. When did you write your first book and what inspired you to write it?

I became a traditionally published short story writer at fourteen and then a playwright, so my first published novel (BLOOD DRAGONS, the first in my REBEL VAMPIRES series), was at aged thirty-four!

I’d taken time out of writing to care for my son who’s an autistic savant: everything he sees he remembers. It’d sparked me to wonder what it’d be like to be a vampire savant and to live for centuries, remembering both wonders and horrors with the clarity of a photograph. Would it be a blessing or a curse?

BLOOD DRAGONS IS AVAILABLE HERE: 

 

2. How did publishing your first book change your process of writing?

I loved bringing the emotion and voice from my theatre background into the novel format. Writing is a thrilling emotional rollercoaster for me; I immerse myself and live it alongside the characters. Publishing my first book was an amazing experience because seeing other people’s connection to that – there’s even a rock song inspired by it! – has been incredible. But it hasn’t changed that rollercoaster.

 

  1. Does writing energize or exhaust you?

Energizes!! In ‘first draft’ stage I go into a ‘zone’ and I see what’s happening like a film in front of me. This helped a lot when I wrote plays and screenplays. It’s frequently said that my series would make good films, and it’s been awesome to hear the audiobooks. I think they work because of this.

 

  1. What is your writing Kryptonite?

Distractions! Usually, phone calls or just something small that jolts me out of that ‘zone’. You have to write each day, and it’s tough if you have to start all over again.

 

  1. What was the best money you ever spent as a writer?

Gorgeous covers for my books! I’m in love with the current covers for REBEL ANGELS!

 

  1. What’s the most difficult thing about writing characters from the opposite sex?

I love writing blokes. Actually, REBEL VAMPIRES is written from the POV of Light, a male British vampire. His voice had been in my head for about a year before I could write the series. People say he’s my male alter ego!

I think it comes partly from being a playwright, where you need to be able to write and understand the psychology of both genders equally, and partly from the fact that I grew up living in the grounds of an all-boys school where my dad was a teacher!

 

  1. Do you think someone could be a writer if they don’t feel emotions strongly?

 

I think authors often do feel emotions strongly but it’s more about understanding people’s motivations – hate, greed, or love – and then being able to write those, than whether you experience them yourself. Emotion is at the centre of everything I write because that’s what makes you both fall in love with the characters and experience the adventure along with them!

 

  1. What are you working on now?

My new series – REBEL ANGELS! The first in the series VAMPIRE HUNTRESS is out now.

It’s a Buffy meets Lucifer addictive new series.

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Vampires and angels are locked in a deadly war.

Half vampire/half angel, Violet, is dragged into the supernatural world when her sister disappears.

Violet’ll have to rely on a sexy vampire geek, while facing off the harem boy angel threatening her sister.

And there’s only one way she’ll win: by letting out the monster… 

VAMPIRE HUNTRESS FINAL

VAMPIRE HUNTRESS IS AVAILABLE HERE: viewbook.at/VampireHuntress

The second book in the series VAMPIRE PRINCESS: REBEL ANGELS BOOK TWO by Rosemary A Johns is available on pre-order here: viewbook.at/VampirePrincess

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VAMPIRE MAGIC, which is set in the REBEL ANGELS world is one of the novels in THE SHADOW FILES!

Mages and witches battle in an eternal supernatural war…

Thanks for having me on today Kim, it’s been fun!

 The Shadow Files

 

Find Rosemary A Johns on the web:

Amazon ~ Website ~ Facebook ~ Bookbub 

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Introducing the lovely Paris Brandon

A member of Romance Writers of America and published since 2009, Paris writes contemporary, paranormal, erotic and historical romance, throwing in a little mystery and suspense for good measure. Currently self-published and published with Decadent Publishing, she likes nothing better than a story that contains a little mystery and a lot of romance. Here Paris talks writing, inspiration and her newest series, Cassidy’s Touch in a 10 Q&A.

  1. When did you write your first book and what inspired you to write it?

I come from a long line of storytellers and whenever a book didn’t end quite the way I thought it should, I rewrote the ending. Apologies to Margaret Mitchell, but I gave Rhett and Scarlett a happy ending when I was twelve. Years later I fell in love with the genre but I was still rewriting endings and it seemed natural to write a romance. My first book was a 400 page mash up of pirates, secret identities and of course a hero with a secret. It’s gathering dust in my attic.

 

  1. How did publishing your first book change your process of writing?

I had to learn to split my focus between writing and promotion and find a way to balance the two so that I was productive enough to keep to a publishing schedule. I learned along the way that it was easier if I had a working synopsis, which usually helps with the first draft. These days, after the first draft, I find it easier to split the book into three acts and outline so I’m sure the goals, motivation and conflict are lining up.

  1. Does writing energize or exhaust you?

 Writing tends to energize me. I love the entire process, from the planning to the execution. I’ve even learned to love the editing phase. Go figure.

  1. What is your writing Kryptonite?

I will fall down a research rabbit hole on the internet, look up and find that two hours have passed. I’m a research geek.

  1. What was the best money you ever spent as a writer?

I know I should probably say a conference or some fancy software that would make my job easier if I’d bother to learn it, but I have to say that it was my house. When we moved the last time I turned a large, sunny bedroom into my office. Best investment, ever.

  1. What’s the most difficult thing about writing characters from the opposite sex?

Finding the perfect balance between what a fictional character would say and how men actually speak. I’ve attended many workshops on dialogue and the rule was that men never use ten words when three will do. That might be accurate but at some point your hero needs to speak his mind and that will definitely take more than three words.

  1. Do you think someone could be a writer if they don’t feel emotions strongly?

I think it would be difficult to convey emotion if you didn’t experience it. Think about the scene from “Romancing the Stone” where Kathleen Turner is bawling at the typewriter as she types The End. That scene says it all.

  1. What are you working on now?

I’m working on the next book in the Cassidy’s Touch series. The first, a novella that introduces Cassidy will be available in The Shadow Files, a limited edition boxed set that’s available for pre-order now.

 

  1. What is the first book that made you cry?

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck.

 

  1. If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?

I would tell her to trust her instincts and take more chances.

Thank you so much for having me as your guest today!

Stalk Paris Brandon –

Website: http://parisbrandon.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paris.brandon.author

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/ParisBrandon

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/parisbrandonaut/

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3297125.Paris_Brandon

Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00N3M7EEM

Cassidy’s Touch is currently available for pre-order through the exclusive box set, The Shadow Files.

Bound by blood to a demon’s curse

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Pre-order links –

Nook: http://bit.ly/2EMWOEo

ibooks: https://apple.co/2FTfaRv

Kobo: http://bit.ly/2oarsgx

About the Book!

Cassidy'sTouch_Brandon(2)

 

Her gift is a double-edged sword. Will it be weapon enough to keep a cursed bootlegger from becoming a demon’s prize?

The least of reality show host Cassidy Spencer’s worries is banishing the ghost of a handsome bootlegger who disappeared after being accused of murdering his best friend’s fiancée. According to an expert, her ghost isn’t a ghost and if she doesn’t use her psychometric ability to find his body before the witch who cursed him does, he could end up enslaved by a demon for eternity.

Chance Coraggio doesn’t remember anything before he could walk through walls and that includes the crazy woman telling him he’s been asleep for nearly a century. The life he should’ve lived has been stolen. All the people he has ever loved are dead—and it turns out the crazy woman isn’t as crazy as he’d hoped.

But waking Chance is only half the battle. Now, both are bound by blood to a demon’s curse. To break free, they must find out who is coming for them and why. Because the only reason for a sleeping curse that has lasted almost a century lies somewhere in a past that Chance can’t remember.

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Author on a Train

The night was dark and cold. My eyes burned tired while I flicked through my emails and opened one from Joanna Penn. An unlikely opportunity gazed back at me from the screen. A chance to join J. Thorn and Zach Bohannon on an overnight train journey from Chicago to New Orleans, followed by a week in NOLA learning to collaborate and write with other authors.

Hmm. What did I have to lose?

The notion was like a wildcard to someone like me. Especially since I am based in Australia and new to the wonderful world of publishing and writing. Surely I’d be passed up.

I was wrong. And the rest, as they say went down as history!

Eight authors rendezvoused with our hosts in Chicago having never met before, some of us from other countries. What a fabulous manifestation!  I think back now and the week was like an exquisite silky bubble that burst way too soon. The experience was rich with transparent content, unrestricted shared knowledge and a wealth of information. Exploring New Orleans and learning about the city’s history has captured a part of me I’ll always be fond of recalling. And the company – the people involved made for something truly special. I wouldn’t have changed a single glorious moment.

The end result was published back in January with  Dark Shadows: Vampires and Ghosts of New Orleans (An Authors on a Train Short Story Collection), and some lifelong connections I’ll forever treasure. I can’t thank these two guys enough.

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Me with J. Thorn and Zach Bohannon

Did we actually write on a train?

Indeed we did. A piece of flash fiction you’ll find below if you’re interested enough to keep scrolling.

Want to find out more?

The guys are doing it again in 2018. Check it out here!

Dark Shadows

AMAZON

 

Flash fiction on an Amtrak Train:

The Bronze Statue

Carly’s breath appeared like a puff of smoke as it combined with the chilly air.

‘Here it is!’ She grabbed Helen’s arm and dragged her toward the bronze statue.

‘Finally! I’m over walking this cemetery,’ Helen moaned.

‘Stop whining; this statue is famous. Haven’t you always wondered about your death?’

‘No,’ Helen scowled, pulling her arm free.

They stopped in front of a bronze figure, falling silent and crooking their necks as they took in its inscrutable image. The statue loomed tall. Its moss-cloaked arms almost concealed the hard etch of its face as it peered out gravely.

Carly nudged Helen. ‘Go on, look into its eyes. Tell me what you can see,’ she murmured.

Helen rolled her eyes and buried her chin among the shaggy material of her scarf.

‘Then can we get out of here? It’s cold and I want to warm up at the bonfire party. Besides, I really need to pee.’

Carly grinned. Her brown eyes sparkled as she contemplated the statue.

‘Sure. Let’s just see if anything happens. Legend has it, not only will you see your death in this statue’s eyes, but they say there is an evil entity waiting for the right soul to come along to swap places. That poor person will forever be trapped behind those bronze eyes.’

‘You’d believe it snowed in summer if Ryan Willis told you so,’ Helen sniffed.

‘I’m going to ignore that remark. What do you see?’ Carly said behind her.

She rolled her eyes again. Best get this over with. Her thick boots squished into the soggy grass as she stepped closer to the statue. When her eyes met the inky black wells of the figure, she was overcome with a tide of eeriness. She squirmed, screwing her nose as she scrutinized the dark icon.

She shrugged at her friend.

‘Nothing. Your turn,’ she said, stepping aside. ‘And hurry up, something doesn’t feel right; this thing is funky.’

Carly laughed as she took her place in front of the statue.

‘What did you really think will happen? Now who’s letting all that death and soul-trapping talk spook you,’ she teased.

‘Just hurry up already.’

Helen watched as her friend lifted her chin. She pushed out her chest, and pulled back her shoulders as she stood with her legs apart and gripped her hips. She stared unblinking at the giant statue.

Carly’s focus seemed to deepen as her eyes locked into the figure. A deep silence fell over the cemetery, broken only by the flutter of wings as the birds fled from the trees, and the tiny pattering footsteps of the scurrying squirrels. Helen’s heart began to thump. Her eyes darted wildly about the cemetery. She could feel something shifting. Her tongue clung to the roof of her mouth as a lump wedged in her throat. An ominous suspicion twisted and corrupted through her.

Her ears pricked as Carly’s high-pitched scream reverberated around her. She swung around in alarm as she saw her friend convulsing uncontrollably. Carly’s body was shaking violently, yet her feet were rooted into the earth like an entrenched tree trunk. Her eyes remained wide and spellbound against the soulless face of the statue.

Helen rushed over to quell the fit but was unable to stop her quivering nor move her in any way. Horror coiled around her and through her like a venomous serpent, while her cries for help echoed vainly among the gray tombs that littered the desolate graveyard.

Her fingers twitched as she frantically searched her jacket pocket for her phone. She clasped the phone, and paused as she blinked at her friend. Carly’s convulsions had subsided and her eyes were shut as a quietness permeated her.

Helen frowned and ventured toward her friend. She encircled an arm around her.

‘Carly?’

Carly’s eyes flew open and she turned her head toward Helen. Hollow black eyes pierced her.

Helen gasped and reeled back under her friend’s stare. She clutched at her chest.

‘Carly?’ she asked again. ‘Are you okay?’

A wide smile erupted over ruby lips. ‘Oh, I’ve never been better,’ Carly said.

She tossed her golden hair up and began to flounce away.

‘Are you coming? We have that bonfire party to get to, remember!’

Helen’s brows furrowed as she trailed Carly down the cemetery road toward the entrance. She glanced over her shoulder at the statue, unaware of the wild silent pleas from its freshly bronzed brown eyes.

K. Petersen

***

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Inspired by this spooky thing in a Chicago cemetery.

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Author spotlight

Author Spotlight: C.S. Wilde

Best selling Author C.S. Wilde

wrote her first Fantasy novel when she was eight. That book was absolutely terrible, but her mother told her it was awesome, so she kept writing.

Now a grown up (though many will beg to differ), C. S. Wilde writes about fantastic worlds, love stories larger than life and epic battles. She also, quite obviously, sucks at writing an author bio. She finds it awkward that she must write this in the third person and hopes you won’t notice.

Connect with C.S. Wilde

From the Stars

For her, he’ll go to war with an entire galaxy.

James Bauman’s life turned upside down when he fell for Miriam Haworth, the most amazing woman he’s ever met. If only she were human, things would be a lot easier.

Miriam cannot love, but this won’t stop her from trying. She must be careful, though. Strong emotions are forbidden in the Whisar Empire. If the council discovers that she’s trying to fall in love with an earthling, they’ll pull her heart out. Literally.

James will do everything in his power to show Miriam what love is, but if he succeeds, the wrath of an ancient alien race might crash upon him… and doom Miriam forever.

Pick up this page turner today!

 

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author interview

Q & A with Andrew Q. Gordon

Champion of the Gods series fantasy author Andrew Q. Gordon talks about writing in The Land of Make Believe. You won’t want to miss out on his wonderful world of fantasy – But first Andrew answers some very interesting questions! Visit Andrew’s website for his complete title list here.

  1. When did you write your first book and what inspired you to write it?

 Depending on how one defines book, I wrote my first one in college. I still have it in a drawer, on the yellow legal pad it was written on. It was for a creative writing class. Fast forward a couple of decades, my husband knew I enjoyed writing, so he encouraged me to start again once we’d gotten settled. That is when I co-wrote my first book (Un)Masked, with Anyta Sunday.

 

2. How did publishing your first book change your process of writing?

 I wish I could say it changed for the better, but I’m not sure I can go there. 😉 Working with an editor and a publisher changed my understanding of the process. Editing helped me become a better writer. Working with a publisher helped me understand the importance of word counts, tropes, cliff hangers or no cliffs, etc.  Overall publishing the first book taught me it was a lot more work than just sitting down and writing.

 

  1. Does writing energize or exhaust you?

 In general. writing energizes me. I like when the words flow and the pages get full. Editing and deadlines exhaust me. Those feel more like work than art. Necessary of course, but it is more business side of things.

 

  1. What is your writing Kryptonite?

Sex- scenes and all out-battle royals.  I don’t like reading or writing sex-scenes so I don’t do them well and I dread writing them. I suspect there is a correlation to be had. I struggle to find a balance between dragging it on too long and not enough details. For me some things are best left to the readers imagination.

The battle of large armies also flummoxes me, but for different reasons. I know what I want to happen and I think I know how it should go, but the ebb and flow of pitched battle is difficult for me to get down on paper in a way that is realistic and enjoyable to the reader.

  1. What was the best money you ever spent as a writer?

 Hiring the click farm to vault my book to the top of the charts. (JK).  There are a lot of good things to choose from, but I’d have to say it was taking Mark Dawson’s Advertising for Authors course. Not only did it help me rethink my marketing plan from the ground up, Mark and his team totally over deliver for what they charge. They are constantly updating and upgrading the content and never ask for you to pay for new add-ons to the course.  It’s not cheap, but it was worth the money.

 

  1. What’s the most difficult thing about creating others worlds?

 Back stories for people and places. The better an author knows their world, the better the reader can relate to it. Since the world and people don’t exist, I need to make it up from nothing.  I spent a considerable amount of time in the Champion of the Gods writing back stories for characters, world history, religion etc. I’m sure I could have done a lot more, but it certainly helped that I could refer back to something when needed.

 

  1. What draws you to writing fantasy?

Magic. I’ve always wanted to be a wizard (or a really cool super hero like the Silver Surfer or Green Lantern). Writing about wizards and magic is the next closest thing to being one myself. (and it is a lot less dangerous. J )

 

  1. What are you working on now?

I’m finishing up the last few pages of When Heroes Fall, the last book in the Champion of the Gods series. From there, it will depend. I’ve been talking to a friend to co-write a series and then I want to work on one of two different series that are more urban fantasy than high or epic fantasy.  We’ll see what shakes out once I finish book 5.

 

  1. What is the first book that made you cry?

 Old Yeller. Still makes me cry today.

 

  1. If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?

 Write more, care less that it be perfect out of the block, and don’t wait so long to get started. Following your dream is hard when everyone around you is settling into traditional careers. Any old career won’t make you happy unless you have a passion for it. So find what you’re passionate about and do it.

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Discover Andrew Q. Gordon on Amazon

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Uncategorized

Killer Unleashed by Beth Prentice

A Review: Killer Unleashed: a Humorous Romantic Mystery

You know the stuff that runs through your mind that never sees the light of your voice? Well here you get to read the thoughts of a character that are just all too familiar.
Chloe’s life turns upside down when Theo (A cute dog) arrives around the same time as Brody AKA Mr Hottie. Strange things start to happen and things are not making as much sense as they used to – especially while trying to deal with the raging hormones that see Chloe melt whenever she sees Brody.

This is a cozy read that will spike your interest, make you laugh out loud and wonder which of the characters is the unleashed killer. With each turn of the page you will learn to love the characters more and more and the ending will leave you feeling all fuzzy and warm inside – and no, that’s not my hormones talking!

See more of Beth’s work here: http://www.bethprenticenovels.com/home

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