“Love makes the impossible, possible.” – Xavier Eastenbrick.
Xavier, the way you have expressed the depth of your experience is unbelievably authentic and moving – thank you for sharing your inner-most feelings with us. I think it is those souls seeking the answers and in need of knowledge that will innately gravitate to and discover your words here, because although the Twin Flame journey is truly sacred, the connection can also be extremely confusing at times.
You have told us about the awakened or Spiritual Twin, and how it is for their benefit to focus on their own soul growth rather than attempting to chase or initiate union with their Matrix Twin. What advice, if any would you give to the Matrix Twin – the one feeling uncomfortable with the intensity and nature of the connection?
I appreciate being given the opportunity to address your questions in this setting. In doing so, I hope by sharing my experience it helps those reading it as much as it helps me writing it. All too often, people try to keep their spiritual selves bottled up and locked away for fear of being ridiculed or ostracized. Perhaps this is why people can feel crazy on this journey. To put it into perspective, you may find more understanding and empathy talking about addiction than you do talking about the Twin Flame journey. No one would call someone addicted to drugs “crazy” – but as soon as you start talking about your soul being split and sharing existence with another human being for the purpose of breaking limitations and shattering the obstacles to love, and by doing so expanding the breadth of unconditional love – people tend to think you have lost your mind.
What I attempt to do through my writing, is to organize my Twin Flame experiences and relate them to circumstances others can identify with; therefore I gain a more grounded understanding that I can share with others. Figuratively speaking, I take a bowl of spaghetti and comb it out. The path is daunting for so many reasons; not the least of which is the fact that the normal and typical Twin Flame process begins by experiences which occur without having learned the information ahead of time.
What I mean is that we learn to walk and then call it walking. Then, you realize you aren’t walking but dancing, and not just dancing but waltzing. And then, that penultimate moment arrives when you realize you’ve been dancing with someone you didn’t even know was there. If you are on the Twin Flame journey, that sentence makes perfect sense to you.
DISCOVERING I AM A TWIN FLAME, AWAKENING AND ENCOUNTERING MY TWIN FLAME:
Before I awakened or knew anything of substance about Twin Flames, I suppose I was living a normal life. I am not employed in any spiritual occupation or business. The experiences I have had led me toward a certain path and body of wisdom. While much of the information I read about Twin Flames resonated with me, there were aspects of the journey I felt compelled to add to the discussion: I was able to provide a much-needed perspective on this often-complicated connection. That’s the beauty of spirituality. You can be anyone or anything; a carpenter; a merchant; a fisherman; an attorney – or whatever, and still have something significant to add to the conversation about spirituality.
What I write about is based upon all that I have experienced, learned through my mistakes, as well as learning from others who have provided their written guidance. I combine the knowledge I have gathered along the way with these golden nuggets, my own education gained through schooling and through life, as well as a healthy respect for both religion, spirituality and science to inform what has resulted in the culmination of my knowledge surrounding Twin Flames.
Can you explain how someone would know if they are in fact a Twin Flame incarnated simultaneously with their counterpart? Is there a magic flag that waves above your twin’s head when you first encounter them?
Discovering my Twin Flame was part of my spiritual awakening process, which occurred a few years after I came to know her. From the moment I spoke with her, I was drawn to her. What she inspired within me was an incredible explosion of creativity and life-changing momentum. In the beginning, while I knew nothing about Twin Flames, somehow I knew she was extraordinary and meeting her would be the line of demarcation between who I was and who I would become.
For the purpose of context, my journey began long ago and without it being identified with the term, Twin Flame. Growing up, I felt always odd, out of place and felt an unidentifiable sense of incompleteness. I suffered from depression and threw myself into creative projects as a way to channel my emotions. In most of what I drew or wrote, there was an overarching theme of duality. It was something that persisted in everything I did. In fact, when I was a teenager, I remember a psychologist asked me: “If you were to draw a portrait of yourself, what would it look like?” My answer was: “I would have to draw two portraits.”
At the time of my awakening, I was going through serious problems which I didn’t want to talk about for reasons I won’t explain here. The thrust of them were internalized stressors which built up and I was caught in a feedback-loop problem; perseveration, poor reaction; depression. Repeat. The essence of it was that I was living an inauthentic life and it was catching up to me, tormenting my soul. I was able to mask my abysmal self-esteem with a pleasant smile and outward confidence. If you interacted with me, I was outwardly normal. Inside I was a wreck of self-loathing and nearing the bottom of the proverbial barrel.
I began to learn more and more about crystals because of a creative passion – which was inspired by my Twin Flame and then, I began to incorporate them into my life. I was drawn to certain crystals and felt their vibration. On the day of my awakening, which happened to be my Twin Flame’s birthday, I was alone at home and meditating in an attempt to calm my mind. At this point, the stress feedback was the thought equivalent of a cacophony of out of tune instruments.
Weeks before I had read articles about music attuned to 432hz – a frequency known as Verdi’s A and is mathematically consistent with the Universe. The American Federation of Musicians adopted the 440hz standard for pitch and most music uses that frequency.
I figured if I am going to connect with the universe, I may as well use its frequency. Accordingly, I placed certain crystals over specific chakras and played the 432hz music. I tried to silence the stress in my mind with positive imagery. For some reason, the image of a large majestic oak tree with golden luminescent leaves and branches popped into my head. I was sitting beneath the tree and it felt so right to be there. I was almost at peace but somehow, I knew I wasn’t supposed to be alone. That sense of incompleteness remained.
I began to imagine the closest people in my life with me under the tree. Each time nothing felt different. Then, I imagined her with me under the tree; the woman who I would later understand to be my Twin Flame and suddenly, everything changed.
Immediately, the lucid dream shifted. It was as if I [my energy] was pulled into a worm hole, deep in space. The scene was surreal yet authentic, and I can still describe the stunning stars, colors and galaxies I saw before my eyes and in the distance. In retrospect, while it seemed like only my energy, it is more accurate to say “our” energy, because I know it would not have been possible without her being a part of the imagery experience.
I felt a sense of wholeness I had not previously known. Our energy was propelled into deep space and continued to expand outwardly. I ceased to feel my body at all and lost the ability to comprehend my individual self. I felt all of my emotions evaporate and incredibly, I didn’t love any particular person. An overwhelming rush of pure love for all things took hold within me. It was unconditional love; dependent upon nothing and no one, and it encompassed the entire universe. I let go and surrendered, and ultimately became fully conscious of my soul and all it connects to.
After a while, I felt the turmoil in my mind ease and suddenly, as if called back to my physical self, I felt the weight of my body and the familiar sense-of-self drift back into my awareness again. When I awoke and looked at my surroundings, everything I saw emanated with an aura for a few minutes.
As you might expect, it took me a while to unpack this surreal experience and figure it all out. Almost immediately, I began to see the synchronicities relating to twin soul incarnations – especially 11:11, as well as the rest of the number sequences. I kept feeling a gentle nudge to investigate the numbers I was seeing until I understood what they meant. I furiously read all about synchronicities and one of them mentioned the term, Twin Flames.
Number sequences specific to the Twin Flame phenomena:
Numbers can play a major role when the universe is communicating with you. All you have to do it look out and be aware of the signs. The universe will never fail to provide signs, symbols and synchronicities. Often, the synchronicities take the form of repeating numbers and there are numbers significant to the Twin Flame journey.
In my case, I observe triple repeating numbers and palindromes. I also notice 1010, 1111, 1212, 121, 222, as well as other sequences involving the outer number reflecting the inner number. As part of my Twin Flame research, I discovered that the number 11 is prevalent.
[For more information about guiding numbers relating to the Twin Flame journey, check out Gangsta Goddess; Tribe & Twin Flame Program.]
I had vaguely heard about Twin Flames in the past, but never read too much about the concept. I thought it was just some fancy phrase for a “soulmate”. However, the more I read and researched about Twin Flames, the more I was able to recall details which completely fit with who I would ultimately recognize as my twin. Each sign and synchronicity I see and feel now inevitably relates to her. And although she is unawakened, each divine trail the universe reveals to me leads back to her; and only her. When I recall our past discussions, the way we interact, then separated before finding each other again, it all fits the established Twin Flame connection. Through meditation and inner-work, I connect to her higher-self on a regular basis and I am able to sense her thoughts and emotions.
She is unaware of our connection and I will not be the one to tell her because she has to discover that knowledge on her own, if at all. That is one of the frustrating realities of this journey; there are no shortcuts and information cannot be served. It must be found and experienced.
In the beginning, it was difficult to navigate the connection and I quickly became the chaser, but I eventually understood the futility of it, so I chose to surrender.
In surrendering, I found peace in the form of knowing that divine timing will bring us together when it is right, if at all. And I’m at peace with fates ultimate hard reality; that this may not be the lifetime in which we reunite. What keeps me from delving into bouts of depression is my core belief and mantra: Love makes the impossible, possible.
MY TWIN FLAME ENCOUNTER – KNOWING:
Recognizing your Twin Flame is a matter of “knowing”. It is a core sense; a strange sense which emanates from the soul. It is as if your insides were reading a book, suddenly looked up and saw your Twin Flame. It is what many call the feeling of being “home”. The knowing occurs after the encounter and might not happen immediately. Once the knowing happens, the war begins between your brain and your heart.
The typical path usually occurs in this sequence: initial encounter, a sense of heightened awareness for your counterpart that leads to “knowing”, and then, information which confirms the connection. The encounter can and usually does occur without knowing and the knowing isn’t necessarily instant. This process can take a while to happen, but when it does happen, it is as if your soul clicks into place like a machine with giant gears releasing an immense sphere that rolls down a slide to a perfectly fitting hole.
BRAIN VS HEART:
Both the brain and heart can agree on processing the encounter with your Twin Flame, but it is the knowing part that is an extraordinarily difficult concept for the mind to reconcile. You typically do not register the person as your “Twin Flame” during the initial encounter. To your brain and heart, they may simply be another person. When the knowing finally hits you, it goes against everything rational about your identity as a single mortal life because your Twin Flame isn’t just some love at first sight interest; they are much more than that. This is the person who encapsulates the same soul as yourself – they are literally your eternal soul in front of you.
Some mistake a strong love or a soul connection with a Twin Flame. This is not because they are ignorant, but because they may have learned about Twin Flames prior to encountering who they believe to be their Twin Flame. But when the connection is true and one or both counterparts arrive at “knowing”, there is no mistaking it. This is why those who have some knowledge about Twin Flames generally suggest to others NOT to seek out information or attempt to learn about Twin Flames unless you are on the path.
In an effort to protect you, your brain will fight you at every turn and doubt almost everything. It is like white blood cells that begin attacking healthy tissue because the autoimmune system mistakes it for a disease. Your brain is framed by your ego and because Twin Flames are primarily spiritual, it is mostly contrary to what your ego accepts as reality.
For example, your ego has little problem accepting the concept of love or in loving another person who loves you back. It is a logical jigsaw puzzle of connectivity. But your ego has a big problem with the concept of the soul and in the case of Twin Flames; your soul also existing in another. If the problem the ego has with the soul can be likened to a fire, the concept of Twin Flames would be napalm.
In my case, I’m an over-thinker. I have never met a simple answer I could not first dissect into a chaos of more questions and with enough variables to choke the most pedantic philosopher. When I encountered my Twin Flame, my brain and heart were focused and aligned. I loved her in an instant, but it was too powerful to call love. The “knowing” was there too – but it was amorphous and without a convenient description to articulate in words. At first, as the symptoms of the connection began to manifest, I simply went with them because I had ways of explaining them.
For example; I suddenly became healthier and overloaded with positive, kinetic energy, which was something I simply enjoyed as a lifestyle change. Consciously, I knew she was connected to it, but my ego wasn’t necessarily bothered. The inspiration and explosion of creativity – also connected to her – was something I just accepted.
When the telepathy and emotional connection to her began to materialize and my full-blown spiritual awakening occurred with her at its heart, my ego became agitated. A sense of discomfort led to my brain trying to minimize what she meant to me or any connection at that level. I chalked it up to probable, temporary insanity or a side effect of the increase in energy or dietary changes. I tried anything I could to rationally explain what I was experiencing, even if it made less sense than what was actually happening. And to compound the issues, she was unaware as far as I knew.
Every morning was the same – she was my first thought. No matter what I was doing as each day progressed, she was constantly in my thoughts and emotions. Every night, the last thought I had before I drifted off to sleep was of her. I knew I loved her but I wondered whether I was becoming obsessed. An obsession is an unhealthy fixation or addiction to something. An obsession has a deleterious effect on the person.
With her in mind, it was not the all-consuming thought that obsession creates. She wasn’t debilitating to my life. To the contrary, her affect was overwhelmingly positive in my life. Everything that involved her or was inspired by her, resulted in me at my personal best and even better than I had reason to be. I easily lost the concept of time and was singularly focused on each and every task, assignment or project at hand. I was on fire!
Then, something unusual began to occur – I started to feel emotions which had no connection to me and made no sense of what was actually happening in my life; and I could find no rational reason for experiencing those feelings. I would be at my desk at work or in my basement and suddenly become giddy or burst out crying. I was bewildered because there was no underlying cause for me to feel that way. While I can’t definitively say those emotions were coming from another person, I know for sure they were not my own.
Later, after communicating with my twin I discovered I was able to confirm a factual link to the emotions I was sensing in real time. The emotions were hers. If she fell in love, I felt it in my heart chakra as a sharp pain. When her heart broke, mine did also – in the form of a pain that felt like a heart attack. I could literally feel her energy; her times of peace and harmony, as well as her bouts of extraordinary confusion.
Ironically, the aspect that my ego had most difficulty processing was the fact that I was able to distinguish between my own emotions and those of my twin. At a certain point my ego had to admit the connection was real because it ran out of rational explanations. Doubts cloak of shadows could no longer eclipse the light.
WHEN KNOWING SET IN:
When the luxury of doubt finally dissolved, I was left with acceptance and the full awareness that she is my twin. That is when the “knowing” set in. It was like a harmony of the various aspects of my being, all saying at the same time: “She is my Twin Flame. It is her. It has always been her.”
There are many paradoxes in the Twin Flame journey. One such paradox is that the usual path is begun by neither party realizing that they are a Twin Flame. The two in question will experience unexplained synchronicities, and perhaps even odd circumstances which may lead and guide one and/or both along the path, but the moment of realization is not accompanied with an “ah-ha” moment escorted with the skies opening up and a beam of divine light spelling out “TWIN FLAME” in burning violet letters.
Oh, so there is no magic flag…
No, I’m afraid there is no magic flag!
Each Twin Flame path is specific to the set of Twin Flames, but there are enough commonalities that we are able to identify specific traits relating to the sacred connection.
For example; there is a Spiritual Twin – usually the predominantly divine feminine, and a Matrix Twin – usually the predominantly divine masculine. It is important to remember that Divine Feminine doesn’t necessarily mean female and Divine Masculine doesn’t necessarily mean male.
The Spiritual twin typically has an individual spiritual awakening first [either before or after they have encountered their twin]. During the course of their awakening, the Spiritual Twin will eventually become attuned to their Twin Flame – sensing there is something profoundly important about their counterpart – and will finally discover the knowledge about Twin Flames. Think of it in terms of being asleep. You wake up, make some coffee, cook your eggs, pop in the toast and slice up some fruit. Afterwards, you finally learn that you have made this thing called “breakfast”. The added kicker is that you have made breakfast for two and you’re not sure why.
The Matrix Twin is called such because he is accustomed to the 3D world and as such, has immersed himself/herself in those customary ways of doing things. Spirituality might be a foreign concept to him and he might not even grasp the idea or be able to acknowledge the synchronicities and signs which might be occurring – even if those signs are howling in his face like a wild storm. Think Clark Kent without knowing he’s Superman, figuratively speaking of course.
These roles lead to the push-pull dynamics of the Twin Flame journey and process. Because “running” and “chasing” sound rather predatory, I try to avoid it. It is simply the process of encountering fear and overcoming it, triggering and strengthening, and wounding and healing. If we look at it in this context, perhaps the pain can be better understood and both twins can learn from it.
It is always tempting to tell your twin that they are your twin. But try to think of it in terms of the natural order of the universe. Things progress as they should, and in the correct time they need to. A tree begins life as a seed which finds its way into the earth, interacts with nutrients and rain, before sprouting from its shell. After a while, the roots begin to anchor as the seedling pierces the surface and grows towards the sun. If you were to deny the seed this journey, no tree would appear. Similarly, telling your twin may be more about you shocking the process and imposing your own will and timing on the universe, as opposed to you surrendering and allowing the process to unfold naturally. When we try to force our will on the universe, it typically does not end well.
Instead of shocking the process, be there for your twin. Enjoy your twin, send them unconditional love in plenty, introduce them to spirituality if they are so inclined, and be part of their journey. Give them every tool they need to recognize the door to knowledge; the wisdom to unlock it; the strength to turn the key; the will to grasp the door knob and push on the door. When they are ready, be there when they find the courage to walk through the door because they will need you to be there as their Spiritual Twin in the same way you need them.
I’m not going to sugar coat it – here’s the thing – this journey is HARD and the pain can be almost unbearable. Sometimes, you want to scream: “Wake up, my Twin!” because it is so damn frustrating. You become frantic with excitement to have found this extraordinary soul; your soul, and you look at any time spent apart as wasted time. I get that, truly I do.
In those times of pain, my advice is to meditate and reflect on the situation. Drop your attachments and shed your fear. Attempt to understand where your pain is coming from. Be gentle with your twin, even when they are testing your every nerve and last sprig of sanity. Be as gentle as if you were opening your front door to them, or setting that plate of breakfast down in front of them.
I began this journey from the ground level, a place of not knowing. I use my hunger for knowledge to acquire information and learn all I am capable of learning. Then, I take all the material offered, process and sort until I am able to make sense of it as much as I can. I try to keep grounded in all that I learn and focus my efforts on sharing with others that need the advice and guidance, to serve others experiencing their own Twin Flame journey.
That is an important aspect of the Twin Flame journey; to understand that we are not only part of a connected universe, but as Twin Flames, we are part of a connected community of souls who deserve our empathy, love and understanding. If I can help those on the path find their groove, maintain their sanity, faith and hope – help them understand and mitigate their own suffering, both in this process and in healing their past wounds, then I am fulfilling part of my mission to change the world.
As I set about helping other Twin Flames, it is my desire that we proceed down our respective paths and, in the process, understand Love in its purest, energetic signature and resonate a frequency so high, that it further expands the universe.
Do you want to know the reason why, as a Twin Flame, I help and serve others? The reason has nothing to do with money – I don’t charge a dime – or fame – which I don’t have – or anything else which might serve as a motive for one’s efforts. The reason is love and the fulfilment of a simple truth I have learned; Love makes the impossible, possible.
Want to talk more with Xavier? You can find him on the web via the links below. Alternatively, leave a comment and he will respond with pleasure.
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Missed out on parts one & two of The Twin Flame Connection Series? Don’t fret, you can find the links below.
View The Twin Flame Soul Connection Part One
View The Twin Flame Soul Connection Part Two