We need more like him.
In the late 80s to early 90s, the 40th birthday bashes were in full swing. I was much younger, of course, far from the baby boomers in my life who faced the reality that they were no longer the youth revolution. It was inevitable. None of us can rebel against time no matter how hard we buck and yell. Besides, they had their Woodstock and their sexual revolution, and let me tell you, whatever that symbolized for them reflected in their midlife celebrations.
Hendrix. Joplin. The Who. Zeppelin. Jefferson Airplane. Cocker.
Baby boomers knew how to rock in their day. I’ll give them that. But, of course, we’re talking about the generation of free love and peace, which produced music that captured the spirit of the times. Still, middle-aged men seemed ancient to me as a young woman back then. No offense intended, but I was looking at fading strands, receding hairlines, weathered skin marked by pronounced wrinkles, and hair sprouting in weird places. I found none of it sexually appealing.
Hey, where’s Pacino when you need him, hmm?
Middle age gets a bum rap. I mean to say that when a man gets older, his testosterone slips, his hangovers sting a little more, and he has to really start listening to his doctor during those yearly check-ups. But you know what? Youth in the rear-view can also mean that he is wiser, more financially sound, handles stress better, and knows how to have more quality fun with a woman.
It’s not a given, though.
Goddess knows there are tonnes of men out there who never quite mature beyond their youth on the mental, emotional, social, and spiritual fronts. The scales don’t lie. They are the men who make everything about themselves, think vulnerability is a weakness, use women, have commitment issues, don’t own their mistakes, and are stellar at making their women feel utterly alone.
I’m not interested in men like that.
Instead, I appreciate men who have aged with spirit and grace and have embraced the subtle art of self-possession. Someone with a rich inner life, emotional honesty, and a beautiful open heart. Someone grounded enough to embrace the courage to commit to what is real.
That’s attractive. That’s sexy.
I’m no longer that young woman screwing my nose up at middle-aged men. Things have changed. I’ve changed. Like the generation before me, I couldn’t rebel yell loud enough to stop getting older. But honestly, I don’t mind one bit because the years have freed me as life has revealed its beauty and difficulty and shown me that each part has value and purpose, and one is needed to appreciate and understand the other.
I now have a thing for middle-aged men.
They can be pretty lovely, with weird hair, wrinkles, and all. But the most beautiful thing about middle-aged men is the magic of their wisdom.
It is the type of wisdom I liken to Albert Einstein’s famous quote:
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
This quote perfectly echoes the power of imagination and the limitations of knowledge. In other words, knowledge is easy to acquire, but creativity takes bravery and persistence.
I like that. I desire a man who understands the concept even more.
See, there is a distinction between knowledge and experience that some older men value about life. Those who realize that wisdom isn’t solely based on the knowledge accrued from education but, instead, evolves from education plus life experience plus limitless imagination.
Suppose imagination is the key to elaborate theories, dreams, inventions, and innovation. In that case, it must give rise to experiences that create more enlightened perspectives required to make our most profound transformations over time.
Some men are powered by love and driven by purpose.
He feels profoundly and is sensed by others profoundly.
It is a type of wisdom that can no longer put up with the bullshit produced by a sneaky, excessive society that doesn’t prioritize his life. The kind that comes to reject the endless distractions offered by a community that attempts to deter him from making contact with his own consciousness, using things such as alcohol, porn, entrapment, and Netflix to achieve its objective.
Some men come to realize a higher meaning.
Some men have what it takes to give and receive great love.
Some men come to humility.
Some men learn to stop giving away their life force energy to the things attempting to steal it from them.
And some men arrive at the beautiful door of wisdom.
He unlocks the portal to his soul and begins to operate from that place deep within. He’ll come to know a deep service that he has committed his life to — his spirit, heart, and soul.
It’s a slice of wisdom that bestows those men who’ve done the work, and that’s attractive.
Because a man who possesses this kind of inner knowing doesn’t frequently hit and quit life or flip flop around commitment, emotions, love, or the idea that choices matter. If he has done the work to a certain level, he knows the choice doesn’t matter.
It’s never mattered.
What matters is the commitment to the choice.
He drops the game.
Abandons the distractions.
He says what he means and means what he says.
I admire a man who finds something, chooses it, commits to it, and stays committed to it. And please don’t confuse commitment with tolerance or endurance in any scenario that breeds unhappiness or pain. Sometimes, letting go of things that are no longer working for us — people, jobs, homes, and the like — is the most extraordinary step we can undertake toward positive transformation and improving the quality of our lives, and that’s a commitment in itself.
I believe in that old proverb about better doors opening when one closes, and if it doesn’t open, then it’s not your door.
Some men know that he will arise illuminated and stronger through constant weathering than before.
Some men realize that the problem with so many contemporary men is that distraction and lack of immersive commitment propagate immaturity, untrustworthiness, and acute unawareness.
Some men know that they will find themselves through commitment and feel their purpose.
Some men understand that their purpose doesn’t lie outside themselves but within.
I’m talking about the type of men who know how to be, really be with a woman. Because the magic of wisdom understands himself and inspires movement around him through his depth of being, feeling, loving, and seeing. He learns where to place his awareness and knows how to connect deeply with the woman he loves.
Now, that’s sexually appealing.
Dear Goddess, I think the world needs more men with beautiful wisdom.